Have you ever met a man, flirted with him, and then he does absolutely nothing?
You think to yourself; “Was I in the same conversation as he was, because I swore the guy was interested?”
You’re definitely not alone, it happens every single day!
By now you’ve all heard that men are natural hunters. They want to pursue their women (we want it too!)
So, what do you do if you’re in one of these situations, I mean….Is it okay to ask a man out?
Can you pursue a man without being over aggressive or coming off as desperate?
On this episode of The Dating Den Podcast. I take a deep dive into this red-hot topic with Christian Anderson - who happens to be deliciously handsome, smart and successful (aka a quality man). You may know Christian as my co-host of our Dating Den YouTube show.
It's an important issue for strong successful, independent women who are frustrated by waiting for men to take the lead.
So on this episode, we talk about who should pursue a man and who should not based on what it is you’re looking for in a long-term relationship.
Tell Me About It Stud — Christian Shares Why He’s Here [1:20]
After a Twitter war, Christian was asked to debate another male relationship coach on whether or not women should pursue men. The other coach has very different views than he does. Christian was raised by two very strong Lebanese women, his mother and his older sister. He understands the difficulty women have in the midst of the changing gender roles of society today. So, he accepted the challenge.
Can It Work If A Woman Asks A Man Out? [6:24]
Christian says it can work but you need to ask yourself what kind of man are you looking to attract in your life. He says first impressions are huge.
If a woman takes the lead:
● She will probably end up with a man who leads with his feminine energy.
● It’s likely she will end up as Miss Right Now.
● You can’t teach an old dog new tricks — A man won’t suddenly turn alpha.
What Does A Woman Pursuing a Man Actually Look Like? [13:35]
The woman basically does all the preliminary work, Christian says. She sets up the date, she sets the location and she orders the food. Christian shares a date gone wrong story about a woman who pursued him. He says it was fun and exciting to be courted. He met her at the place she chose, and during the evening she was slightly assertive. The woman stirred up a lot of hormonal energy in Christian which made it hard for him to go into provider mode. When she called again, he realized it was he who wanted to be leading the relationship.
From a female perspective, it’s a choice. It’s about knowing what you are likely to get when you do pursue a man.
Dating Hacks & Homework[24:12]
These tips are a powerful woman’s best friend. They allow you to make the first move and still let the man feel challenged. Christian says to throw a man a softball. Throwing a softball is as simple as making eye contact and if you are feeling saucy, add a smile. This way a man can respond to the nice, soft pitch you threw him and get out his bat to swing for a home run.
Or, try the tried and true, man-empowering HACK:
● Help — Asking a man for help makes him feel needed and men love to feel needed.
● Advice — Ask a man for advice.
● Compliment — Men don’t receive a lot of compliments from women so by doing so you make him feel really good.
● Kangaroo — You’ll just have to listen in to hear this one for yourself.
Your homework ladies is to use the hack, 3 times for 7 days in a row, to practice. If you want to be pursued you have to be engaged in the process.
Tips to Get a Guy to Ask You Out:
- Know who you are
- Know what you want
- Don’t be afraid to share yourself
- A softball goes a very long way
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