There isn’t a class on what to do when your heart gets ripped out by a guy in school. And, most of us never got a lesson from mom on how to bounce back after we are left dejected and downhearted when our ‘meant to be’ believes he is meant for someone else.
This is why Samantha Burns, Founder of Love Successfully coaches clients on how to bounce back. Her latest book, aptly named, Breaking Up and Bouncing Back was inspired by her own devastating break up. In the book, Samantha explores why a break up hurts so much and how to best go through the grief process.
Samantha is known as the millennial love expert and is a licensed therapist who has been featured on The Today Show, Inside Edition, Yahoo, HuffPo, and Women's Health.
Breaking Up Will Make Or Break You [7:31]
Ladies you are not in this alone. Breakups are a common human experience but we don’t talk about them. There are so many of us going through the same thing. We need to process the breakup and then recreate what we need in order to find a good relationship.
It is possible to create the relationship you want.
The Status Quo-ple [8:58]
Many couples find themselves in an uncomfortable situation caused by comfort. They are afraid of change and fear going through the pain of a breakup. They simply stay together because it is easier than breaking up.
Using a process will make breaking up and bouncing back easier!
Why Breakups Are So Painful [14:51]
As humans, we depend on someone else for survival. Our attachment patterns from a young age determine that if someone doesn’t give us love we won’t survive. So, when someone breaks up with you it’s a rejection we process as if we are better off left for dead.
When we fall in love our body produces the same chemicals as an addiction. So you are basically going through withdrawal when you are no longer seeing the guy.
Dating With Intent [24:16]
Samantha recommends first understanding yourself and being crystal clear about what you want in a partner. Then you can be intentional and strategic with your love life. You can start creating the relationship you want.
There is life after a break up.
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Breaking Up and Bouncing Back
Suddenly, your oh-so hot and handsome dinner companion for the past couple of weekends leans in and kisses you gently on the neck… behind your ear…
He makes his way gently across your face and your lips meet… it’s electric, even a touch of magic. This could be it.
His hand finds the small of your back, traces your spine up to your neck, then he does it…
He slides his hand up the back of your head and grabs you by the hair… just hard enough to set you on fire!
But are you feeling the right kind of ‘fire’ inside...?
Women, listen up! You are going to love my guest today.
He is going to tell us what is going on inside our beautiful bodies when we start to feel the change.
Dr. Mache is one of America’s leading voices on women's wellness and menopause. He is an award-winning medical journalist. He has this cool thing where he combines health information with original music. He is the Editor of The Hot Years: My Menopause Magazine, the author of 15 books on women’s health and has written over 200 scientific articles on the subject.
It’s Not About Age, It’s About Transition [3:56]
Dr. Seibel reminds us menopause is not about age. It's about transition. First, there was puberty when your hormones first went crazy and now it’s time for your hormones to go out of balance again. The mean age of menopause in the US is 51 years of age and 5-10% of women go into menopause before age 46. Symptoms can start up to 10 years earlier.
In the year 1900, women died at age 48. Nobody worried about menopause because they were dead!
What Should Women Do to Prepare Themselves? [13:16]
Becoming aware of the transitions your body will go through is the key to keeping yourself optimized. Dr. Seibel says there are 5 essential steps to pay attention to.
They are:
1. Physical changes.
2. Emotional Changes.
3. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle.
a. Sleep is essential.
b. Control stress.
c. Exercise is critical.
d. Eat nutritiously and organically.
4. Hormones.
5. How to thrive beyond menopause.
Take a holistic approach and take care of the sum of you not just some of you.
Strategies for Dating & Sex During Menopause [24:15]
Dr. Seibel says his advice for women who are transitioning is the same whether it’s puberty or menopause.
1. No one will love you until you love yourself.
2. Practice safe sex.
3. Be friends (Don’t have sex).
4. Birth control (Low dose birth control to balance hormones).
Your vagina may become more rigid. Make sure you tell your doctor!
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
Have you ever had a fantastic date with an attractive, smart, together man, felt a special connection and said to yourself, “I haven’t felt this good about a man in forever…. maybe this is finally the guy.”
Then he mysteriously disappeared from your life… stopped calling, stopped texting, and stopped asking you out?
Leaving you asking yourself… “What did I do wrong?”
Are you ready to finally understand what men really want… what makes them pursue certain women passionately...
And avoid others like a visit to the dentist?
I am swooning in the dating den today ladies because I am talking to one of my favorite men on the planet!
Evan Marc Katz is an amazing dating coach who is going to tell us what a man’s agenda is on the first date and how you can get a second date if you want one.
Evan is a personal trainer for smart, strong and successful women like you. He is the author of four books, his latest, Believe in Love, has been mentioned in the New York Times and CNN. He has had over 10 million readers of his blog and over 1000 women have graduated from his video program, "Love U".
How to Most Effectively and Efficiently Find a Quality Man [4:29 ]
Evan says there is only what works and what doesn't. Women need to ask themselves if what they are doing on online dating sites is working for them. Most will say no, so Evan’s advice is to take online dating seriously and treat it as a science.
The basics of Evan's 2/2/2 rule are to make a connection, move the conversation to personal email, schedule a phone call and then make a date. Women should be treating online communication like real life communication and make their emails entertaining conversation starters.
Don’t forget online dating is relationship building.
Setting Yourself Up for Failure [18:47]
Evan says people who plan on half-hour coffee dates are setting themselves up for failure. If you only want the date to last a half-hour, it's already a failure. Evan's preferred mindset is to believe in success. If you build up trust, rapport, excitement and anticipation through a few emails and phone calls, the only thing you need the date for is to check for chemistry.
How to Get a Second Date [20:27]
Evan says women often go into the first date looking for clues about what future she might have with him. But if women really want a second date, they should put aside their agenda to achieve their agenda. A guy's objective on a first date is to get laid and to put on a show. If women tell him how great he and flirt with the promise of sex sometime in the future, she will get a second date.
Men are always in it to win it!
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
Have you ever been obsessed with trying to get an ex-boyfriend back?
Are you staring at your inbox wanting him to text you?
Do you ever just show up at his place and make up a reason why you are there?
Did you just “fake-up” on Instagram in an attempt to make him call you?
If you identify with any of these psycho things you need to listen to this episode. Chris Seiter is a professional relationship consultant who specializes in breakups for men and women. Not only can he show you how to get over a breakup he can also tell you how to get back with an ex if it’s appropriate. Your Tango, Elite Daily, Reader’s Digest, and Life Hack all consider him an expert.
How Do You Know When It’s a Good Idea to Reconcile with Your Ex? [5:45]
If you are what Chris calls a GNAT, Going Nuts At Texting and he’s not responding you may be a psycho ex who has no chance at reconciliation. When someone is in the middle of heartbreak the same part of the brain is activated as when a drug addict is going through withdrawal. Chris recommends taking some time to re-assess how you feel and wait to reconcile when you don’t feel the heartbreak.
Men love the friend with benefits so watch out for ex’s who may only be calling you for the booty call.
The Grass is Greener Syndrome [11:05]
The grass is greener syndrome is when your husband or boyfriend wonders if he can do better than you. He decided he wants to breakup and then decides he can’t do better than you so he wants you back. Do you really want this guy in your life ladies?
Chris recommends:
The No Contact Rule
● Ignore your ex for 21-45 days.
● Facilitate your own personal growth.
● Invoke a mirroring of effort.
He says 80% of women end up failing from the no contact rule! You are breaking an addiction. He says to find a way to make the voice in your head disgusting. This way when the voice inside your head tells you to do something (like text your ex) you will not want to do it. It takes incredible discipline but it works.
Focus all of your energy towards yourself instead of your ex!
Breaking Up Without Probable Cause [21:53]
Many successful relationships boil down to timing. Finding an emotionally mature man is difficult enough. Why would you think this one guy is the ultimate, perfect match out of the billions of people on earth?
Getting an Ex Back [28:45]
Believe it or not, moving on is one of the best things you can do to get your ex back. Your energy shifts when you move on and it gets communicated through the vibes you give off. This is the only method that works consistently. Chris says, clients try to fake moving on and it doesn’t work. You have to actually move on.
Are You Obsessing About Your Ex? [34:33]
Turn your obsessive energy inward and focus on yourself. And, even though it has a negative stigma try a rebound relationship. One of THE best ways to get over your ex is a rebound relationship. If the new guy treats you better than your ex you may not want him back.
Ladies, a rebound relationship doesn’t mean you should sleep around.
Is It Possible to Restart the Relationship? [38:13]
Chris recommends seeking out a dating coach or therapist when times are good. Therapy doesn’t always mean there are problems in the relationship. A check-up with an impartial third-party can help a relationship survive.
There are no two relationships are alike. One solution is not good for all.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates