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The Dating Den

Each week on the podcast, I’ll be interviewing the world’s top experts in attraction, dating, communication, sex, and relationships, as well as coaching real women LIVE, through their real life dating challenges… that are probably a lot like yours!
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Now displaying: February, 2018
Feb 25, 2018

Have you let a guy treat you like an option while you treat him as a priority?

 

Do you need to raise your love limit?

 

During today’s call, Courtney learns how to get back into integrity with herself after she has become fed up with a long-term relationship she doesn’t feel safe in. We discuss setting boundaries, feeling emotionally safe and how to live our vision.

 

More than a Lack of Commitment [1:52]

 

Courtney met James nine years ago but their relationship hasn’t progressed the way she wants it to. They are very close and she knows he has commitment issues. Courtney has made it clear to James that she wants to find a full-time partner. When she brings the subject up, James says doesn't want to get married, tells her to accept their relationship as it is and then hides for two-days before reappearing.

 

She doesn’t trust him and thinks he has been with other women during their nine-year relationship.

 

Honesty is the best policy.

 

Stepping into Integrity [7:41]

 

She doesn't feel emotionally safe in the relationship. In all other areas of Courtney's life she exudes integrity but in her relationship with James her words and actions are not matching up. She knows that she is compromising herself because she fears finding another person to date. She has an upper limit problem.

 

 

Stop Talking and Start Doing [13:14]

 

When James comes out of his hidey-hole, and to live in integrity with herself, Courtney is going to tell him the relationship is not what she wants. She needs to start thinking about herself, what her long-term goals are and where she wants to be in five years. She is going to set her boundaries and start living as a woman committed to her vision.

 

Moving Past the Pain [19:35]

 

Once Courtney aligns herself with what is important to her she must do what is right for the little girl that she created this pattern to protect. Even though she knows it won’t be easy, with confidence and grace she will end the relationship with James and start trusting herself and her gut again.

 

Find personal freedom by being integrity with yourself.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Feb 18, 2018

Are you a pleaser and an achiever? Does your voice get muffled by fear of conflict?

 

Do you accept your partner’s choices and then sulk about it for hours?

 

Do you put up walls to keep you from engaging in conflict?

 

This episode is about resolving conflict in relationships. Conflict is unavoidable,  so, you may as well embrace it and learn to get what you want without ruining your relationships.

 

My guests today are the founders of Thrive! They specialize in helping leaders, teams, and companies deal with ever-changing business dynamics to ignite creativity and innovation. CrisMarie and Susan are speakers and they co-authored the book, The Beauty of Conflict. In relationships, they help partners with power struggles and create healthy, resilient relationships by teaching couples how to communicate and set boundaries.

 

What Opportunities Do People Miss When They Avoid Conflict? [8:57]

 

Talking about differences can really elevate our relationships. Differences can create a spark of sexual tension, in a good way. If we can explore each other's differences we can get closer. We can reach intimacy through engaging in different opinions and ideas of our partners.

 

Make friends with the fact that conflict is happening.

 

 

Strategies to Help You Handle Conflict [11:59]

 

When faced with conflict you may want to run away from it or stand and fight it. Susan says the first step is to take a deep breath and then feel your feet and your seat. Bringing your energy back into your body and settle your nervous system by becoming conscious of some part of your physical body. Then, speak up, say how you are feeling and then ask for what you want from the other person.

 

Engage the other person in a conversation and invite a response. "I have a preference of..." is a great way to let the other person know what you want. It's time to get interested in your partner and ask them what it is about their choice interests them so much.

 

Overcoming the Need to Be Right [20:30]

 

Don't fall into to the trap of the right/wrong energy by using these three opt-out styles:

 

1. Always Right

2. The Accommodator

3. The Separator

 

Setting Boundaries that Stick! [23:36]

 

Be careful not to set boundaries that are designed to control the other person. Boundaries must be set based on your beliefs and they should be flexible. Consider if your boundaries are rules or walls that only assist you in avoiding conflict? Make your voice heard.

 

Being vulnerable doesn't always show up as soft and gentle it can also show up as angry and frustrated.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

The Beauty of Conflict by CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke

Thrive Inc.

Beyond the Right/Wrong Trap - TEDx Talk

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