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The Dating Den

Each week on the podcast, I’ll be interviewing the world’s top experts in attraction, dating, communication, sex, and relationships, as well as coaching real women LIVE, through their real life dating challenges… that are probably a lot like yours!
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Now displaying: August, 2018
Aug 31, 2018

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re still single… why you don’t have a great guy that treats you like a priority and makes you feel beautiful and loved and safe…

 

If you have no idea why the guys you attract don’t show up for you the way you want… or why the guys you date disappear or are afraid to commit…

 

I have something Uh-Maze-ing for you!

 

In the den today, the amazingly insightful Dr. Margaret Paul explains how we can create intimate connections based on how we feel about ourselves. And why has lead you to places you don’t want to be.

 

If  you’re a smart, badass woman that wants an epic relationship, (and I know you are), you can’t afford to miss this life-changing episode of The Dating Den!

 

Dr. Paul is a best-selling author and co-creator of the Inner Bonding Self-Healing process and creator of the online Self Quest Healing Program. She has been a guest on Oprah, and her new book, Diet for Divine Connection is available now.

 

Blending Psychology & Spirituality Through Inner Bonding [3:05]

 

Inner Bonding shows you how to get to know who they really are, your soul essence. It also uncovers limiting beliefs so that you can achieve a higher love.

 

Dr. Paul says that most of us grew up with parents who didn’t have a connection with their higher self. So, we were never taught how to access our spirituality.

 

In dating, we attract in our common level of woundedness or common level of self-love. If we don’t know how to love ourselves or we abandon ourselves, we attract people who do the same thing. If we don’t have self-love we look for someone to make us feel okay.

 

4 Things That Keep You From Getting the Guy You Want [6:01]

 

Ladies, even if you feel like you have it all together you may be neglecting yourself emotionally.

 

Ask yourself these four questions:

 

  • Do you ignore your feelings by staying in your head?  
  • Do you criticize yourself or judge yourself?
  • Do you turn to addictions to avoid feelings and numb pain?
  • Do you make other people responsible for your feelings?

 

When we abandon ourselves we feel empty and we try to get love through control. But when we are filled up with love, then we have lots of love to share.

 

Send out good vibes and you’ll get good vibes in return!

 

The 6 Steps of Inner Bonding [15:21]

 

  1. Be willing to feel your painful feelings
  2. With intention consciously learn to adopt wisdom and love for ourselves
  3. Discover what you may be doing to create pain for yourself and why
  4. Access the truth about what is loving to you
  5. Take a loving action
  6. Consider the results

 

It may not be easy to put these steps into practice but there is a relief when we are connected to our higher self.

 

Dating can be fun when used as part of your learning experience.

 

Diet for a Divine Connection [25:51]

 

Dr. Paul’s new book is a philosophy-based, diet guide that helps people find high-frequency foods that allow them to tune into their bodies. For the reader, it provides a complete understanding of how to take responsibility for themselves emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally.

 

The first part of the book focuses on micro-biomes because an unbalanced gut can cause anxiety and depression. The second part of the book shows the relationship between inner bonding and eating.

 

Pick up your inner child and love them with compassion.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Inner Bonding — Dr. Margaret Paul

Diet for Divine Connection: Beyond Junk Foods and Junk Thoughts to At-Will Spiritual Connection

Aug 24, 2018

In the den today, a master architect of rewiring the brain. Sherrie Toews has been a licensed therapist in California for 25 years.  She works with me on the elite program, 5 Keys to Being Irresistible. Sheri focuses in on what is causing people to be stuck and creates a fool proof plan detailing how they can break through and acquire the skills to maintain a lifestyle shift.  

 

Why Are We Addicted to Drama? [3:50]

 

At the root of being addicted to drama are deep-seated fears and insecurities from childhood. What didn't go well for you in childhood created your current self-limiting beliefs. Maybe you developed a tolerance for chaos but it still makes you feel emotionally unsafe. In a relationship this shows up when you overreact to normal fears, or bumps, in a relationship.

 

You can take back control of your life!

 

How to Overcome the Addiction [10:52]

 

Our brains fire chemical impulses constantly but the brain doesn't recognize the difference in bad stimulation and good stimulation. To the brain, any stimulation is good stimulation. If you grew up in a chaotic environment your brain got wired to want the chaos.

 

When the brain is craving stimulation it will text, call or go see the person you know you shouldn't.

 

3 Ways to Up Your Self-Esteem and Retrain Your Brain:

 

  • Replace limiting beliefs with empowered beliefs.
  • Re-learn what a healthy relationship looks like.
  • Retrain your nervous system to recognize you are emotionally safe.

 

Get used to feeling grounded and safe!

 

Signs You Are Addicted to Drama [17:07]

 

The brain wants its next hit of Cortisol or Adrenaline so you will create an environment where it is likely to get it. If you relate to doing any of the things on the list below you may be addicted to drama.

 

  • Arguing and then feeling relief afterward
  • You feel empty or lost without your guy
  • You jump to conclusions
  • You don’t know when enough is enough
  • Blaming or demonizing your guy
  • Being hypercritical or hyper-aware

 

The emotional roller-coaster is exhausting but you don’t have any frame of reference of a good relationship.

 

Create Your Own Emotional Safety Everyday  [25:55]

 

Do you look to men to make you feel safe? Someone else can’t make you feel emotionally safe or good enough. It is time to heal those wounds and build trust within yourself. You are worthy of love and respect!

 

Take control of your love life.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Schedule A Breakthrough Session With Us

Aug 17, 2018

In the den today, proof that it is possible to change your brain to create results to bring love into your life! Marni speaks with Psychologist, Dr. Rick Hanson about how to use good things to manifest more good things in simple, daily steps.   

 

Dr. Hanson is the New York Times bestselling author of Hardwiring Happiness and Buddhist Brain. He is the host of the Being Well Podcast and his Being Well Program demonstrates how to use positive neuroplasticity to grow skills and strengths like resilience and self-compassion.

 

How to Change Your Brain [3:25]

 

Dr. Rick says that life turns out the way it does based on a combination of 3 factors:

 

  • ● The challenges that wear on you
  • ● The vulnerabilities that pierce through
  • ● The resources you draw upon to deal with challenges and vulnerabilities.
  • The greatest opportunity to change our brains is to grow psychological resources like mindfulness, compassion, self-worth, and interpersonal skills for navigating the dating world. We always have influence over our minds.
  • To develop more happiness inside and feel more confident you need to fundamentally change your brain for the better.
  • To become a happier, wiser, more resilient person involves changes between your ears!
  • There is nothing we can do about the past but we can always grow more resources for the future. There may be conditions in our lives that are outside of our control but our brains can help us control the outcomes we have from those experiences.
  • The Fundamentals of Personal Growth [8:33]
  • The brain is the regulator of the body. For us to take on a new outlook or to create flow, creativity, possibility, and peace, the brain needs to change. Each neuron is a microprocessor in our brains and we have several hundred trillion microprocessors computing in our favor. The brain is the Enchanted Loom that continually weaves the tapestry of our experience. We are full of possibilities. We can use it to feel more worthy of love, less vulnerable, and entitled to good treatment from other people.
  • To reprogram your brain follow this 3 step process:
  • ● Stay with the experience for a few seconds longer. Don't let the world distract you. Sink into good experiences.
  • ● Feel it in your body - Get a sense of action related to each experience. Internalization is critical!
  • ● Pay attention to what is rewarding about the experience.
  • Look for the good in something, have good feelings about it and take in the good experiences. 
  • A good opportunity to internalize the benefits is during your self-care practice.
  • The Brain’s Negativity Bias [22:44]
  • Dr. Rick reflects back on early history to describe why our brains are alert and naturally hold on to negative experiences. Those processes were a helpful tool in the past but in today’s world they may work against us creating ‘learned helplessness’.
  • The harder your life is, and the less the world is helping you the more important it is to look for opportunities that are under your control and take them in. Internalize them
  • 3 Ways to Deal When You Are Upset [26:34]
  • When feeling upset Dr. Rick recommends:
  • ● Feel your feelings and observe them mindfully
  • ● Release what is negative or painful. Let it out!
  • Grow the good.
  • Then we can welcome in something good to replace the released feeling.
  • Let the bad pass you by but hold on to the good until it fills you up! 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Rick Hanson

The Being Well Podcast

Foundations of Well Being

Aug 3, 2018

Ladies, are you super frustrated with men right now?

 

Would you like to deepen your ability to connect with them?

 

In the den today, a man who is multilingual. He speaks both man and woman. Robert Kandell is a veteran who after spending time in Corporate America, went on to build an eight-figure business based on relationship, intimacy & sexuality.

 

He's a teacher, coach, and lecturer whose mission has been to help men find themselves and use their internal power to live their best life. He is the host of the Tuff Love Podcast and his book, unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them is soon to be released.

 

Why Men Hide Their Sensitive Side [2:45]

 

Robert says it's a tough time to be a man. People put a lot of expectations on men today. It creates a society of silence where men are taught to play small and to hide their feelings. There is no space for them to discuss their challenges. Men get a lot of confusing information.

 

Men don't have the emotional acumen or awareness to know when to bring a mix of their masculine and feminine sides to the conversation.

 

 

How a Woman Can Create a Deeper Connection with a Man [6:41]

 

If a man is willing to explore his feelings, he's a keeper. A man needs to feel safe before he is willing to share. Women can make a man feel safe by telling him she is ready to explore, expand and grow with him. But, she needs to make sure she doesn't become a coach to the man.

 

How Can Women Support Men Through the Me Too Movement? [9:43]

 

Men have been seeing programs for changes for women since the 1970's. But on the flip side, the powers that be didn't create complimentary programs for men to help them deal with intimacy and emotional intelligence. Girls went through and up-leveling and the unintended side effect was that programs for boys became stagnant. 

 

The Me Too movement gave women permission to release all the rage that has been underneath the surface for generations. And, instead of men stepping up to the challenge of meeting a modern woman they decided to stand aside.   

 

Women need to forgive the past trespasses of the patriarchy. Forgiveness can bring re-connection and intimacy!

 

What Does a Modern, Healthy Relationship Even Look Like? [20:16]

 

Robert says the way to build a modern, strong couple is:

 

1. Patience is important! Yelling 'Man Up' doesn't promote growth in a relationship.

2. Reward and approval instead of punishment for evolutionary changes.

3. Use humor and curiosity together.

 

If you are looking for a man who will give you what you need, set your boundaries. Know going in what you will put up with. Women tend to have scarcity, limit their beliefs and bypass their boundaries when dating. Create a high bar for men. If you set your bar high you tend to attract men at that level when you set bar low, you will attract a lower level man.

 

Men don’t think like women. Don’t get mad at a man for not acting or reacting like your girlfriends do.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Tuff Love Podcast

Kandell Consulting

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