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The Dating Den

Each week on the podcast, I’ll be interviewing the world’s top experts in attraction, dating, communication, sex, and relationships, as well as coaching real women LIVE, through their real life dating challenges… that are probably a lot like yours!
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Now displaying: February, 2019
Feb 22, 2019

Are you putting your best self out there with your current online photos?

 

Are your online dating photos attracting the high-quality guys you want to date? 

 

Marni welcomes photographer extraordinaire, Mary Ann Halpin to the Den today to discuss the importance of a professional photo shoot to enhance your online presence and solidify your personal brand. Mary Ann is an acclaimed photographer and speaker who facilitates workshops based in Los Angeles, California. She has created four books including Fearless Women, the book filled entirely with badass women with swords. Her goal behind the lens is to capture inner beauty in a way that creates outer beauty. 

 

Why Professional Photos are Essential Online  [2:51]

 

Marni reminds us that an awesome online photo is the best way to get your online profile the most attention. People can feel the energy of a photo. And, if the energy doesn't project what they are looking for they will pass right by it and move on to the next. The great thing about professional portraiture is it captures the energy you are projecting. 

 

The old adage — The eyes are the window to the soul — is true. Making sure your true, authentic self is relayed in your photo is essential to finding the right guy for you. 

 

Fun shots can be, fun but they may not portray the real you. 

 

Questions to Ask Before Booking a Shoot [7:36]

 

The most important question to ask yourself before having your photos professionally done is “what are the photos for?” Or, “what is the goal these photos can help me achieve?”

 

Are you trying to attract the love of your life? 

 

Mary Ann reminds us professional photos are an investment in your life, not a frivolous expenditure. 

 

Before choosing your photographer get recommendations from people you trust who have used a professional in the past. 

 

  1. 1. Ask for a consultation.
  2. 2. Do you feel comfortable talking with this person?
  3. 3. Ask them how they work.
  4. 4. Ask them for base prices. 
  5. Putting Your Best Self Forward as a Fearless Woman [24:55]
  6. Marianne says, “It's always endearing to hear someone laughing at themselves. Good energy is contagious.” She believes women should fear less and love more. You can allow the judgment and fear of having your image captured to be debilitating or you can stand aside and let fear pass you by. 
  7. What we believe about ourselves is true and our words have power. 
  8. Give yourself permission to go for it. You have the right to find your ideal guy, so put your best self out there online to make sure you get him. 
  9. Photo Don'ts: 
  • ● Don’t Force It — Be Natural
  • ● Don’t Be Critical
  • ● Don't Mistrust the Photographer
  • ● Don’t Beat Yourself Up 
  • ● Don’t Show Up Hungover or Tired
  • Your online image is you showing your soul out in the virtual space. Make all the pieces come together in online dating. True intimacy and connection will only come when two souls connect and the right photo can help you connect. 
  • Your lovability will shine through in your images to attract the right person for you. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Mary Ann Halpin 

Feb 15, 2019

Are you still upset about a past relationship? Does it matter how you speak about it during a date?

 

Is your online dating profile authentically you?  

 

Marni welcomes long-time Man Panel contributor, Michael Lushing into the Dating Den. Michael has worked in commercial real estate for over 35 years. He went back to University to obtain a Masters in Psychology and is one exam away from becoming a certified marriage and family counselor. At age 64, he is an open book about his three marriages, his mistakes, his lessons learned, and how he figured out what he was really looking for in a woman.  

 

Michael Shares the Lessons He Learned From Three Marriages  [3:56]

 

Michael says his first marriage was his “real” marriage. He and his first wife met in college, had kids and eventually just grew apart. His family wasn’t fond of his wife but they stayed married for 18 years. The lessons he learned from this marriage was to face his fears and start having courageous conversations about difficult subjects.

 

Wife number two lasted for less than a year and Michael admits even that was too long. His family had recommended he dated the woman and instead of following his heart, he took his family’s advice. The lesson he learned from this experience was to be true to himself.

 

Michael’s third wife started with infatuation but after two years of marriage, the passion faded. He realized she was not leading an honest life. He says he held on for longer than he should have because he feared getting back out on the dating scene because of his considerable relationship history.  

 

How Michael Figured Out the Kind of Woman He Truly Wanted [10:33]

 

Michael met Marni through her male coaching sessions. He had divorced his third wife and was looking to start dating again. Marni recommended he start a 30-day dating hiatus but Michael resisted. It was only when he took a time out from dating he had the time to really consider who he was and who he was looking for.

 

When he did start dating again he went to an online dating site. Michael says it was a struggle for him especially when a woman's profile's didn't match her character when they met for a date. He was frustrated. He found it competitive and dishonest. One of his dates even admitted she created a false story just to attract men.

 

Ladies, it is imperative to be authentic and clear in your online profile about who you are and what you are looking for.

 

When dating, there is a difference in being authentic and vulnerable on a date and just verbally vomiting your story on another person.  

 

If you have unresolved issues about a past relationship be aware there can be unconscious verbal leaking. Remember, you are sending out a vibrational energy other people can feel.

 

A quality guy may just check out. They recognize the woman is not ready for a relationship due to her unresolved issues, finish the date and decide not to see her again. Don’t be angry about your previous life. It is not attractive and it demonstrates you are not ready for a new relationship.

 

Men are Human Too [24:46]

 

Michael has learned to slow down, to be patient, and to find out who a woman is before making a commitment, not afterward. He recognizes that men have a hard time being alone so, they rush into things quickly. By slowing down, he learned what he appreciated and what he found attractive.

 

He says women shouldn’t want to change a guy.  No one can change someone else. If you don't like someone for who they are right now he isn't for you. And, the more quickly you let go the quicker you will find someone who does fit your core values.

 

Core values can't be created they already exist within the other person.

 

Ladies, ask yourself what would it look like if I was looking to rule in rather than rule out? And, how can you seek to connect and hear someone rather than make up a story about them?

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Feb 1, 2019

Are you a successful woman who doesn’t need a man BUT wants to have a man?

 

Are you pushing men away without even realizing it?

 

Do you make unjust negative judgments about your date without considering the positives?

 

Marni welcomes Sherrie Toews back into the Den. Sherrie has been a licensed therapist in California for 25 years focusing on trauma and family systems.  She is an expert in her field who works with women in the elite program, 5 Keys to Being Irresistible. Sherrie focuses in on what is causing people to be stuck in their patterns, even if they don’t realize they are stuck. She shares the little ways women are influenced by their past traumas and how we can move forward into more positive dating experiences.

 

The Love Shield  [3:00]

 

Sherrie describes the Love Shield as a collection of negative thoughts, feelings, actions or behaviors women hide behind. This negative energy and uncomfortableness lay just underneath the surface and shows up in little ways during dates, even when women believe they are having good dates.

 

Examples of the Love Shield in action:

 

  • ● Do you minimize compliments people give you?
  • ● Do you resist making eye contact?
  • If you do you may unwittingly be sending out negative energy and putting up a love shield.
  • Your Love Shield comes up because there is a part of you that is scared a previous trauma or you feel your identity is at risk.
  • Sherri says that just understanding your childhood wounds doesn't mean they are healed. It's the emotional connection with the trauma as an adult that heals them.”
  • The Hidden Dangers of Over or Under Expressing Yourself [13:43]
  • There are fragments of our lives that don't seem like they should be causing any trauma but show up in different ways. If you are stuck in your head, overanalyzing every aspect of a date, when he called last, every single word he said — you may be stuck in your head.
  • When you are stuck in your head it means your heart is not leading. And in relationships and love, it’s all about the heart! You could be missing out on queues about how he really feels about you when you think too much.
  • Think about one of your positive attributes. Do you overexpress it to the point of it becoming unsettling? Or, do you under-express it because you are scared it will be too much? It could be hurting your dating life.
  • So What? Now What? How to Move Forward. [20:29]
  • Sherrie says in order to move forward women should take care to notice their judgments. How do you judge yourself? How do you judge other people? Remember your date is a human being who wants love, wants to avoid pain and wants to be happy, just like you. 
  • She suggests journaling about the negative judgments you make about yourself. Write each judgment down and then and make a positive script to replace the negative. 
  • When you are on a date,  collect ten pieces of positive evidence.
  • ● What did you do well?
  • ● What did your date do well?
  • ● What aspects of the date went well? 
  • When you drop the love shield, you soften a bit. It opens you up to wonderful connections and intimate relationships. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

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