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The Dating Den

Each week on the podcast, I’ll be interviewing the world’s top experts in attraction, dating, communication, sex, and relationships, as well as coaching real women LIVE, through their real life dating challenges… that are probably a lot like yours!
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Now displaying: June, 2019
Jun 28, 2019

In this in-depth coaching session with Kristen, Marni discovers the root of why Kristen can’t be herself around people she likes. She is 39-years-old and is replaying a pattern over and over in all of her relationships. Since her divorce 15-years-ago, she has dated but it has never led to anything serious. She wants guidance from Marni on how she can ask for what she wants from life so she can date with dignity. 

 

What a Girl Wants [2:12]

 

Kristen often meets men through her extracurricular activities or through work. She gets to see the guys being their authentic selves and she appreciates it. But, when it comes to her being herself she automatically shuts down. 

 

She has been shy ever since she can remember. She was the youngest daughter in her family. She recalls her parents taking care of her every need and her father being very protective of her. She didn’t need to assert herself or voice her opinion while she was growing up because someone always did it for her. 

 

Marni recognizes Kristen’s pattern as the ‘love shield’ and asks her why she feels she is incapable and unworthy.

 

Why We Wear a Love Shield [9:38]

 

Many of us carry around a voice in our head that directs our identity and our behaviors. We then attract people into our lives who act the same or reinforce that identity. We may think we know who we are but we always default to someone else’s wants and needs because deep down we are afraid our own needs will be rejected. 

 

Marni reveals that when a guy senses a love shield he feels a disconnect. It’s hard for men to become attracted to someone who doesn’t know who they are. A grown-up man wants to get to know someone and be challenged but if Kristen doesn’t know who she is or what she wants, there is very little for a guy to fall for. 

 

Kristen says she can feel herself trying to analyze the situation in her head but she still doesn't know who she is. She is exhausted by it. She gives other people her power. She’s not sure of who she is or what she is capable of. She does know, however, she is confident and capable of things in her head but not in her heart. 

 

How to Uncover the Real You [18:26]

 

Marni says it’s time for Kristen to start investigating who she is. She needs to strip herself of her story consider the places where she feels like she shines and what makes her feel free. 

 

Basically, Kristin needs to date herself. 

 

She knows she can activate her authentic self when she wants to. When she is out in nature hiking she feels grounded and free. She is able to release herself and connect to her body. It’s when she moderates herself due to her fear is when she shuts down. 

 

Kristin’s Homework: 

 

  1. For 30 days, she needs to start noticing what she naturally notices. 
  2. She needs to stop moderating herself.
  3. She needs to ask for what she wants.  
  4. She has to get some professional help and start parenting herself. 
  5. She needs to express what is in her soul. 

 

If you don’t know who you are, how will anyone else get to know you?

 

Make a Connection:

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Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Jun 14, 2019

Marni welcomes Becca Devens to the podcast to speak about the things that keep her marriage to Survivor’s Rick Devens a healthy, happy one. Becca is a nurse, singer, traveler, and the writer of The Munchkin Nugget blog. She shares how she and Rick met, the core values that keep them happy, how they maintain a healthy relationship after a disagreement, and common fallacies of love and marriage.

 

Why Do Women Believe One Person Should Meet All Their Needs? [2:34]

 

Women are complex, beautiful human beings. We have needs that go beyond what one single person is able to accommodate. In the past, women used to get their needs met in the social environment. But in today’s modern culture some women rely solely on their partner to make them feel complete.

 

Becca says she thinks a lot of women are dating to meet their soulmate but she believes the real purpose of dating is to learn more about what you want and what you need from a relationship. When women focus on finding their soulmate in a partner they tend to forget about all the other soulmates in their lives, like family and friends.

 

She says, “Your partner is important but they are not everything. They can't be everything. A lot of women today expect whoever they are with for that person to provide everything they need. It’s unrealistic to have all your needs met by just one person.”

 

When you are dating someone and you get upset don't expect your partner to completely understand. You need other people in your life to talk with, vent to, and share feelings with.

 

Core Values Are the Glue that Holds Everything Together [10:06]

 

Becca describes the commonalities between her and Rick. She describes him as an adventurer and an avid outdoorsman who is perfectly fine to do things on his own while she is a traveler who is curious about trying new things. He incorporates things into his routine while Becca goes through phases of sampling different things that interest her. The glue that holds them together is that they both want each other to be happy.

Becca’s Top 5 Core Values for what she wants in a partner are:

 

1. Humor and Chemistry

2. Curiosity and Travel

3. Family Man

4. Intelligence

5. Compassion

 

When Becca and Rick are separated for a length of time (like when he was a contestant on Survivor) or a disagreement arises, they lean into their core values to find comfort.

 

The Problem with Rom-Coms and Fairy Tales [16:54]

Becca says she loves Romantic Comedies but she always speaks with her daughter afterward to talk about the differences in a movie and real life.

 

She says “ A lot of times parents don't show their children the real relationship. They may not fight in front of the kids and they don't make-up in front of their kids so children aren’t aware of the little annoyances that are a part of every marriage.”

 

Marriage isn’t always easy and it’s important to work on it and protect it.

 

Becca's Tips for Protecting a Marriage:

 

1. Don't engage in behavior that appears flirty or questionable.

2. Ask your partner or check with them when you are making plans with other people.

3. Open up and be vulnerable. Let your partner know they are important to you.

Don’t expect a relationship to be like a fairy tale. If you do disappointment awaits. 

 

Relationship Strategies for Getting Back on Track After a Rift [21:35]

 

The old adage 'don't go to bed angry' doesn't really play in today's world. If you and your partner have an argument it’s OK to put off a conversation until you have both cooled down.

 

Becca and Rick wait to cool off and then normally whoever was the biggest jerk steps up to start a new conversation and explain their side.

 

Becca recommends acknowledge your part in the disagreement and say you are sorry about making the other person feel agitated so you can both move on from it.

 

If your core values are met and your partner wants you to be happy that's all that really matters.

 

Becca says she received sage advice from a friend’s parents. They offered her this, whatever he does that drives you crazy make sure you can live with it for the rest of your life because it will never stop. and don't let yourself get bitter about it.

 

It’s OK to disagree about things but make moves to repair the emotional component of your relationship as soon as you feel calm.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

The Munchkin Nugget Blog

@BeccaDevens on Twitter

Jun 7, 2019

Marni welcomes the Co-Founder and CEO of the MeetMe Geoff Cook into the Den. MeetMe is a live video streaming approach to the dating world. The app increases your chances to meet ‘your’ person by offering more opportunities than you could ever have in person. During the show, Geoff shares the benefits of the MeetMe app, what the future of dating looks like, and the best way to utilize the app to get the most responses from your personal live stream, including the forthcoming dating game.

 

Geoff is a serial entrepreneur who met his wife when they were in the 7th grade. He comes from a place of love and wants to make love connections happen for everyone.  

 

What Makes MeetMe so Amazing? [3:17]

 

We ladies are well aware of the issue of users of online dating sites misrepresenting themselves. There is no solid way to verify the authenticity of profiles on the common text-based dating sites. A users profile picture may be outdated or may not even be a photo of the person it claims to be. The struggle of authenticity is real! But, it’s also easily overcome with MeetMe’s progressive live streaming mobile technology.  

 

The MeetMe live streaming component is designed to make it fun and engaging to make connections and to move toward meeting your person. The app boasts 4.5 million active, chat and live-stream video users.

 

Searching for users who are broadcasting their lives includes parameters such as near me, relationship status, and interests.  Geoff says the beauty of this app is that you can see what someone is doing in real time. A live-stream mobile dating game is also in the works.

 

Get instant feedback for how you present yourself to the dating community.

 

Everything You Want in a Dating App [12:03]

 

The age range of the fastest adopters and most frequent users of the live-streaming function in the app is 18-34. But, if you are a 35-50 year-old and are not ready to take the technological leap, MeetMe also offers a non-live component. So, you can still find people near you and engage in text-based chat.

 

50% of MeetMe users have met in real life after meeting on the network.

 

If you are looking for real connection or just entertainment the app automatically includes both mediums. It provides an insider view of who you are talking to you can’t get from text-based dating sites.

 

Use the App to Re-invigorate Your Dating Life [24:59]

 

The dating app doesn’t have a dress code but high-level streamers put energy and effort into putting their best foot forward. With a user base of 50% men and 50% women, it’s fun to watch existing users for tips and ideas for how to get a lot of attention with your profile.

 

Ladies, this app allows you to be in the driver’s seat of dating while maintaining your feminine allure.

 

When females initiate an online conversation, they receive an above average amount of responses.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

MeetMe

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