In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni has a one-on-one coaching session with Jennifer. Jennifer has decided that she would rather be alone than continue dating men who don’t fit her mold of Mr. Right for her. Marni helps Jennifer to identify what she can do to shift her paradigm.
Key takeaways from this episode:
Jennifer never thought she would be alone when she turned 50. Everyone she knows asks her how is it that she is still single. She meets possible dates online, she has done all the personal development work yet she can’t seem to find the right guy for her. When she does date someone she gives up after 3-4 dates.
She admits to being independent, knowing her worth, and her resolve to not settle for anyone who doesn’t check all of her boxes. She has recovered from some tough stuff in life and is prepared to go it alone if need be.
Marni bluntly asks Jennifer what she is protecting herself from. Jennifer opens up a bit and reveals she doesn't want to get hurt again and she feels that if she cuts off the contact first she feels in control of the situation. Marni reminds her that she is protective of her emotional safety. She puts up a giant shield to protect herself.
Is your mask of independence really an unhealed wound?
Jennifer realizes she put up a barrier to protect herself and moves quickly away when she is triggered by things she thinks will hurt her. She is attracting men who prove her right and she instinctively rules guys out when she could be collecting more data.
Marni says she will attract a whole different set of men when she is energetically, consciously, emotionally,and unconsciously more open.
The fact that she is dating guys who are dating other women shows that they are emotionally unavailable just like she is. She is consistently attracting the same thing over and over again.
Until she is 100% emotionally available she won't attract the kind of guy she is looking for.
Jennifer’s takeaways are:
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In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni speaks with International Transformational Leader, Tantra Educator, and Author of Liberation into Orgasm, Sophia Sundari.
Key takeaways from this episode:
Sophia explains that Tantra is not something crazy hippies did in the 1970s. Tantra is a spiritual path that includes all types of expressions of life. In Tantra, everything is looked at as energy, and sex is the energy of creation.
We are all spiritual beings and we all are souls incarnated. Sex is where all life begins. It is the beginning of our spiritual path. Even for those who may have trauma around sex or haven’t fully stepped into their sexual energy yet.
Sexual energy is loud because it is the root energy of life itself.
The inability to connect to our feminine energy is the root cause of so many issues in life. Tantra can help us deepen our connection and embrace our feminine energy.
Most of our sexual education comes from pornography and Sophia says it is a shame because it causes people to believe they must perform or manifest something outwardly. On top of that, women are wired to be in a multi-awareness space. We can get stuck in our heads during a sexual experience.
A conscious sexual experience when we are fully present in the moment. It’s a high form of meditation. Inviting and inspiring our partners into a conscious sexual experience is a gift of the feminine.
When we are filled up from within we don’t have to work hard to find a partner. Partners are automatically attracted to us.
Sophia shares the top 3 tips for how women can have a deep connection with their femininity:
If you are vibrating at full frequency you will attract a man that is right for you.
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In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni speaks with Speaker, Coach, and Branding Expert, Amy Ogden about genuine ways to make human connections during and beyond the COVID pandemic. Amy is the brainchild behind ‘How to Catch a Human in the Wild’ and the ‘Sufficiency is Sexy’ TedX Talk.
Key takeaways from this episode:
Amy believes in making simple 30-second connections with other humans as she traverses NYC. She makes a commitment for the day to not use her phone during her idle times and instead focuses on the humans around her. Her intention is to make someone else’s day just a little bit better.
During this pandemic, people are realizing just how alone they really are. They are begging for connection right now. She says if you are at home behind a screen, love on people through social media. If you get out of the house, love on people with a compliment.
The key to making human contact is compliments and questions. It gives you something to talk about.
Catching human connection is a social muscle you develop over time. Be fearless with love and be fearless with kindness.
As a woman, it is impossible for you to be creepy, so be the hero and start a conversation. Get rid of the boundaries and barriers you've been creating for years. Use exploratory energy to make the human connections you so greatly deserve. What if your new friend has a brother or co-worker who would be perfect for you?
Remember, it’s about collecting data to rule a person in, not rule them out. It’s so easy to get stuck in our self-imposed status quo.
Amy’s Tips for Making Connections:
In Amy’s TedX Talk, Sufficiency is Sexy: The Rest is House Money, she describes how fun life can be when you take chances. Her advice is to quit holding on to what you think is going to make you happy. When you look back, you will realize that you set a bunch of goals, achieved the goals, and then set new ones. When do you take the time to celebrate?
Imagine sitting with your younger self and telling them how great their life turns out. Take a moment to savor how awesome you have become.
You are a human being living a human experience. Don't live your life looking at screens and ignoring the beautiful souls around you.
Make a Connection:
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In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni coaches Allison, who is living in Italy trying to avoid the ‘I give up’ syndrome because she is not attracting the right guys online. She asks Marni for guidance about how to filter through her options faster and how to create a more focused approach to her dating life. Her goal is to find a guy who shares her values and vision.
Key takeaways from this episode:
Before COVID Allison was dating online and going out with people she met a few times a month. But she was overwhelmed by meeting so many guys that were different than who she thought they would be. She is really hoping for in-person chemistry.
Marni gives Allison permission to ask for an in-person date faster. She warns that Allison may be creating pseudo-intimacy with a person because the chatting back and forth mimics interest and connection. But by the time Allison actually meets the guy, it is disappointing because the connection isn’t real.
There is nothing to fear. We are all just human beings who want to find a partner.
If someone isn't willing to make a plan, it lets you know about his interest level and his integrity. Traditional gender roles don't apply until you meet. There is too much to do in today’s world. You don't need a penpal or to create a false sense of connection.
Allison says she is cautious about adding that she wants a long-term relationship and kids to her profile. Marni encourages her to be clear, direct, and her authentic self. She uses the analogy of a department store not marketing to its target market. The point hits home with Allison, who is tired of wasting time.
Your online brand should be creative, engaging, flirty, and fun.
If you create a better online brand for yourself, you are going on dates curious, open, and optimistic about whether the person you are with has the same vision and values as you. The bottom line is that you want to rock the boat and shake out the guys who aren’t what you are looking for more quickly.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates