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The Dating Den

Each week on the podcast, I’ll be interviewing the world’s top experts in attraction, dating, communication, sex, and relationships, as well as coaching real women LIVE, through their real life dating challenges… that are probably a lot like yours!
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Jun 24, 2018

In the den today, we discuss loving ourselves for who we are, appreciating the spectacularly ordinary things about life and living in the present. If you struggle with always wanting more and never being satisfied this episode will get you started on your path to enoughness.

 

Today’s guest, Geneen Roth is the author of ten books including three New York Times bestsellers. She works with people on their body image issues during retreats and has been featured on the View, Oprah, the Today Show and more. She is the Guru of Gratitude and the Siren of Satisfaction.

 

Janene Shares Her Personal Struggle [4:28]

 

Janene struggled with her weight and with food for many years starting at the tender age of 11. She always felt fat and repulsive. Then she realized it wasn't really about the food. Food was just her way of expressing her internal self-loathing and the belief that she was repulsive. At her core, she believed she was unlovable and damaged.

 

She would radically change her diet, switching from coffee and cigarettes to Atkins to Weight Watchers.  All she really wanted was to relax and love herself but instead, she used food to express her lack of self-worth and self-respect.

 

If I (fill in the blank) Then I Will... [7:44]

 

Not everyone has a challenge with food but everybody has the 'if...then' mentality. Janene says it is a human dilemma that displays our inability to be in the present moment. Our minds are always projecting and living forward. The challenge for us is to learn how to show up today.

 

So, how do we move from fixing ourselves to finding ourselves? Janene advises us to stop where we are, take a breath and become aware of who and where we are. In her new book, This Messy Magnificent Life: A Field Guide, Janene writes about disengaging from our judgemental voices. Our judgemental voices are not our friends. We should ask ourselves ‘what is not wrong right now?’.

 

98% of us are worrying about the future instead of appreciating now.

 

Practicing Gratitude  [24:05]

 

Being grateful for the ordinary, unremarkable moments in life is a surefire way to finding joy in our everyday lives. When we ask ourselves ‘what isn’t wrong right now’ we start to appreciate all the things that are right.

In our quick-fix culture, everyone seems to want everything right now. But, changing the way we think requires more than a one-time effort. Janene says we need to take small, daily steps to become comfortable with a new practice. It’s all a process in This Messy Magnificent Life.

 

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This Messy Magnificent Life: A Field Guide

Geneen Roth

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