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The Dating Den

Each week on the podcast, I’ll be interviewing the world’s top experts in attraction, dating, communication, sex, and relationships, as well as coaching real women LIVE, through their real life dating challenges… that are probably a lot like yours!
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Aug 24, 2018

In the den today, a master architect of rewiring the brain. Sherrie Toews has been a licensed therapist in California for 25 years.  She works with me on the elite program, 5 Keys to Being Irresistible. Sheri focuses in on what is causing people to be stuck and creates a fool proof plan detailing how they can break through and acquire the skills to maintain a lifestyle shift.  

 

Why Are We Addicted to Drama? [3:50]

 

At the root of being addicted to drama are deep-seated fears and insecurities from childhood. What didn't go well for you in childhood created your current self-limiting beliefs. Maybe you developed a tolerance for chaos but it still makes you feel emotionally unsafe. In a relationship this shows up when you overreact to normal fears, or bumps, in a relationship.

 

You can take back control of your life!

 

How to Overcome the Addiction [10:52]

 

Our brains fire chemical impulses constantly but the brain doesn't recognize the difference in bad stimulation and good stimulation. To the brain, any stimulation is good stimulation. If you grew up in a chaotic environment your brain got wired to want the chaos.

 

When the brain is craving stimulation it will text, call or go see the person you know you shouldn't.

 

3 Ways to Up Your Self-Esteem and Retrain Your Brain:

 

  • Replace limiting beliefs with empowered beliefs.
  • Re-learn what a healthy relationship looks like.
  • Retrain your nervous system to recognize you are emotionally safe.

 

Get used to feeling grounded and safe!

 

Signs You Are Addicted to Drama [17:07]

 

The brain wants its next hit of Cortisol or Adrenaline so you will create an environment where it is likely to get it. If you relate to doing any of the things on the list below you may be addicted to drama.

 

  • Arguing and then feeling relief afterward
  • You feel empty or lost without your guy
  • You jump to conclusions
  • You don’t know when enough is enough
  • Blaming or demonizing your guy
  • Being hypercritical or hyper-aware

 

The emotional roller-coaster is exhausting but you don’t have any frame of reference of a good relationship.

 

Create Your Own Emotional Safety Everyday  [25:55]

 

Do you look to men to make you feel safe? Someone else can’t make you feel emotionally safe or good enough. It is time to heal those wounds and build trust within yourself. You are worthy of love and respect!

 

Take control of your love life.

 

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