Info

The Dating Den

Each week on the podcast, I’ll be interviewing the world’s top experts in attraction, dating, communication, sex, and relationships, as well as coaching real women LIVE, through their real life dating challenges… that are probably a lot like yours!
RSS Feed Subscribe in Apple Podcasts
The Dating Den
2020
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2019
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2016
December
November


All Episodes
Archives
Now displaying: Page 1
Oct 5, 2018

Marni welcomes Communications Expert Shola Kaye into the den to share her personal experience of overcoming fear and quietness to become a communications coach, public speaker, and professional singer.

 

Shola’s work has been featured in Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire, Forbes, and on the BBC. Her mission is to help women become powerful communicators, build businesses, careers, and relationships using speaking as a tool. She is the author of How to Be A D.I.V.A. at Public Speaking and her new book, Speak Up on the Spot.   

 

Shola’s Personal Development Journey [3:01]

 

Shola had always viewed herself as an introvert. Originally from the UK, she found herself working as an Account Manager in the US. She knew she was quieter and always felt tongue-tied as compared to her US colleagues. She didn't have the confidence to share her ideas. And, in our show and tell society people who don't speak up can get lost, or hide. When she was let go from a temporary contract job because of her communication skills, she knew it was time to go on a personal development journey.   

 

Shola’s quiet demeanor even impacted her dating. Guys just assumed that because she was quiet she didn't have an opinion. Her relationships would normally end with her blowing up because she was offended by something a guy did when she had never told him it bothered her.  

 

If Shola’s story resonates with you, know that you can be empowered to become an effective communicator.  

 

The D.I.V.A. Framework  [8:30]

 

In her book, How to Be a D.I.V.A. of Public Speaking, Shola created a framework to help women know when they may be over or under sharing.

 

Dynamic

Inspiring

Valuable

Authentic  

 

Shola says some people have difficulty being dynamic in their communications because they fear of being judged or they fear not getting the response they intended to get.

 

To be more engaging and dynamic practice interacting with people more. If it’s a presentation at work, ask questions from the group. If you are on a date, be playful and ask light-hearted questions. In both cases, a little bit of humor can go a long way.

 

Flex your communication muscle by doing one thing every day to get you out of your comfort zone.  

 

How to Overcome Fear & Be Your Authentic Self [18:36]

 

Shola works with clients to understand fully who they are, what they can be, and how they can be ‘that’ in any situation. She says it’s important to be proactive about who you can be.

 

She created the 10-10-10 exercise to help get women out of their negative self talk. Do this when you start falling into negative thinking:

 

  1. Write down a negative statement about what could happen in a given situation.
  2. Write down a neutral statement about what could happen in the same situation.
  3. Write a positive statement about what could happen in that situation.
  4. Now focus on the positive statement and release those negative thoughts!

 

Tip: Stuck in your head? Squeeze your butt cheeks together to bring you back to the present and slow your thoughts down!

 

How to Be a Good Communicator & Stay in Your Feminine [22:34]

 

In the workplace, many women believe that in order to compete they need to stay in their masculine but in dating this can lead to disaster. Men are with women for the softness. If we are tough all the time it makes it difficult for a man to take the masculine role and really care for us.

 

To exhibit your softer side, two good habits are:

 

  1. Let other people speak first and really listen and acknowledge them before sharing your perspective.
  2. When asking someone for something you want be sure not to assign blame and don't create drama when you react to something.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Shola Kaye Website

0 Comments
Adding comments is not available at this time.