Ladies welcome to the Dating Den!
My guest today, Daniel, is very handsome, very smart and passionate about self love.
Girls like it when we get a hit of cognitive joojoo to go along with our woowoo.
Daniel created a precise and clear model of the mechanics of self love after years of experiential and academic research. He knows exactly how to build self love on a daily basis and he is going to share it with all of us.
The Difference Between Self Esteem and Self Love? [3:04]
Self esteem is an external attribute while self love is an internal attribute. Self love is more about what kind of a friend you are to yourself? Self love is the nitty gritty way you care for yourself every day. Daniel says the blindspot of the self love movement is when people accidentally not loving ourselves while telling ourselves how much we love. Women are in a linear, masculine, goal-oriented energy when they try to force themselves into self love. It’s wiser to use a feminine energy to heal and nurture themselves.
Women Need to Nourish Themselves [9:44]
The reason women lose track of their inner wisdom and their divinity is fear. Daniel says fear makes everybody stupid. When people are afraid they are addicted to comfort and thus avoiding what they fear. They may get trapped in a world of lack of fulfillment. The world we live in is a physical, masculine world. Women need courage in order to reconnect with their divine gifts. Self love is extra important for women.
How Can I Get More Self Love? [15:37]
People have self love backward. If you think you need more self love you are automatically telling yourself you are lacking. If you want to see pure self love look at children. Kids are the most loving, in the moment, present beings on the planet. They share their essence and don’t give a crap what you think. They are self love. So, maybe we had self love and it’s gone missing.
The Self Created Vicious Cycle [21:37]
We do have love for ourselves inside but it may be asleep. The original lie that has robbed us of that child-like love is the belief of we are not enough to be loved. We tell ourselves we are broken and can not be loved. So, we go to the outside world to find love and validation. When the outside world doesn’t love us enough we feel rejected. We then fear rejection and once we are afraid we can not be fully self-expressed and open. It’s exhausting.
Breaking Through [28:17]
A lie can only exist if you keep telling it to yourself. Daniel shares how he broke the cycle and stopped listening to his ego.
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Ladies, Marni welcomes a real life quality man to the Dating Den and things get real.
Johnny Fernandez is going to tell you why when you walk into a room of 20 guys and, when you try to pick up 15 of them, why they are wrong for you!
Johnny and his wife Dr. Lara Fernandez have been love coaches for 12 years. They empower single, conscious women through relationships. Ladies if you own your power, speak your truth about who you are and embody healthy beliefs and behaviors, finding ‘soulmate love’ will become your destiny.
So, Why Do Women Believe There Are No Quality Men? [3:49]
Men of quality do exist and Johnny is going to teach us how to attract our soulmate. Johnny says, our beliefs from childhood get reinforced in adulthood. Most women don’t make their limiting beliefs a priority. They need to understand where their beliefs about love and relationships come from and then work on themselves to change it. In a room of 20 men, 15 of them may be knuckleheads, 3 are good guys and 2 are every woman’s dream. Women just don’t see the good ones.
Finding A Soulmate Should Be a Priority [10:19]
Most women listening to this podcast live in a Westernized patriarchal society. Women are used to doing what society tells them. Society says they need to work, produce, and do but this is the opposite of what they need to do to attract a relationship with a quality man. Women say I will invest as little as possible. They don’t put a lot of effort towards finding a quality man. Finding the right person should be a top priority in their life.
Men Don’t Hold All the Cards [16:00]
In any relationship, a woman has more power than she knows. When women invest the time, attention, resources and focus into loving themselves it helps their relationships. When you are with the right person you are hot for them and you want to be with them all the time. If women are honest with themselves and make finding the right guy a priority they will find their love.
A Quality Guy Does What He Says He Is Going To Do [18:38]
A quality guy is masculine and has integrity. He is conscious and caring. He is trying to do the right thing in his life and he cares about you. He is self-aware, caring, has emotional intelligence and is kind. If a woman doesn’t do what she says she is going to do they attract a man with the same vibration. A woman should step up her focus in this area of her life.
Ladies be intentional in your vision through your actions.
Be the Person You Want to Attract [28:39]
Men are looking for relationships too. Look for communities you can be your authentic self in and be willing to share the deepest part of your soul. This is important for people, especially women. The idea that women feel they have done everything they can to find a quality guy is crazy. They are out there ladies!
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Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
Men of Quality Do Exist - Free Video Series
OMG! How could you? He’s married.
In this coaching session with Mel, Marne uncovers the truth behind the pain and it has nothing to do with the guy!
Unrequited love could be someone you flirted with from the office, a guy who just disappeared, your male best friend. A married man is the epitome of unrequited love because he is emotionally, physically and legally unavailable.
So, even if the man on your mind is not married consider how this may apply to you.
What Mel Wants From This Coaching Session [4:17]
Mel is flip flopping between wanting to break it off and staying in the relationship long-term. Her heart wants one thing and her head another. If she does break it off with her married guy she wants to feel at peace with her decision.
Mel has felt more intimacy in the last 4 or 5 months than ever before. She knows her guy loves her because of his actions. He takes time off work when possible to spend time with her. He makes her feel appreciated she feels completely in her feminine when she is with him.
An Unconscious Gain of Pain [7:56]
Marne makes Mel aware that she feels safe in her relationship with a married man because it’s impossible for him to be fully with her. Mel agrees she enjoys having her freedom and independence. But, Mel acknowledges the relationship has never been tested in real life circumstances. She feels she is getting a lot of love without any of the stickiness. But, there is a lot of pain. No one in his life can know about her and that breeds insecurity and pain.
The Romantic Rut [17:06]
Does Mel judge herself? Yes, but it is a detached type of judgment. Her brain rationalizes the pain and tries to cope with it by numbing the pain with dopamine. This is why the cycle continues.
Mel has been doing this for two years. Each time she judges herself she reverts back to “but the love is so strong”.
He’s a Liar [20:46]
When Mel rehashes what happened that made the intimacy increase in the relationship she realizes her married man was lying to her and to himself. The confrontation is the only reason he came clean.
The doubt makes Mel question his integrity.
Mel Feels She Isn’t Enough [26:21]
When Mel admits she is afraid of disappointing men and that she can’t seem to let her guard down. Marne uncovers Mel might not feel worthy or capable of accepting love.
Mel is putting up a love shield as a coping mechanism to avoid vulnerability. The reason Mel is in this relationship is because she doesn't trust herself to be 100% available.
Mel’s long-term homework is to believe in herself and know she is enough.
Mel’s Goals and Backup Plans
A. Her ideal goal is to figure out her boundary.
B. Become powerful in her femininity and in alignment with her authenticity.
C. Her safety net is to be brave enough to ask for support when she needs it as she is uncovering her self-worth.
Mel now feels empowered to take responsibility for her vision. She understands it is ok for her to feel the way she feels.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
Are you still struggling to understand men...
What turns them on...
Why they pursue certain women for relationships, and not others?
I know it can feel like guys are attracted to superficial things – but really the opposite is true.
A great guy wants a woman who thinks she is the bomb-diggity-bomb!
Women who don’t value themselves end up as depressed people pleasers.
Do you want to know how to stop sabotaging good relationships?
Marni’s guest expert, Sandy Weiner is the dating coach behind Last, First Date. Sandy is devoted to helping women achieving healthy, toe-curling, epic love in the second half of their lives. She is a TEDx speaker, host of the Last, First Date Radio podcast and a dating coach who specializes in helping women effectively set clear boundaries. Her articles have been featured in the Huffington Post, Psychology Today and Mind Body Green, among others.
Women Don’t Value Themselves [10:18]
Why don’t women see themselves as worthy of more? Why do women give up on the good guys and fall for guys who are broke and wrong for them? Sandy says, relationships are not the same as work successes or being a mom. Our adult relationships are based on the home we grew up in and our relationships with our parents. This means any negativity we experienced as little girls may bleed into our adult romantic relationships. As young girls, women are led to believe a man won’t or can’t provide for them so they overperform.
Men Respond to the Because [14:30]
Men aren’t mind readers. They will do what women want if they know the ‘because’ or the ‘why’ behind the request. Tell a man how it makes you feel for them to help you with something. And, women should stop saying “I got this”. Men pick up on the message that they aren’t needed for anything. Women need to express their needs clearly.
Women of value speak up graciously.
Why Suffer Through Something You Don’t Want? [17:40]
Women sabotage themselves with good men because they don’t know how to speak up and say what they want. Why would someone suffer through something you don’t want? Clarity is a gift held by women of value.
Be creative with your dating.
Leading a Principled Life [26:21]
Sandy says it’s not about rules. It’s about a woman’s principles and dignity. If you live a principled life you do so in all aspects of your life. A woman of value works through her defenses so she is not triggered all the time. She creates a loving, amazing life and she is an inspiration to others. A woman of value has qualities similar to the qualities and values of a good leader. She understands men are not projects to be fixed.
Men are attracted to a woman of value.
Love Comes in Surprise Packages [30:40]
Women of value don’t make lists of what they want from a relationship because they don’t want to get locked into someone showing up exactly according to the list. A list of requirements does not leave much room for surprises and Sandy says, love comes in surprise packages.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
How to Turn a Booty Call Into a Real Date