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Life Check Yourself

Each week on the podcast, hear Marni Battista, Founder and CEO of The Institute For Living Courageously, interview the world’s top experts in how to help people live more meaningful and impactful lives.
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Sep 6, 2019

What can you learn about the male-female dating dynamic by watching Bachelor in Paradise? Loads. To break down key lessons from the reality TV show about new and budding relationships, Marni welcomes Man Panelist, Chris Gillis back into the Den. Chris and Marni dissect how normal people tackle relationships in the craziest of ways.   

 

Key Takeaways:

  • ● Why women need to recognize their value
  • ● Men don’t want to be changed
  • ● Characteristics of the new modern-day alpha male 
  • ● When it comes down to it, women don’t often choose the nice guy
  • ● How women can honestly communicate their feelings without killing a relationship
  • ● The power a woman has over a man
  • ● Men are attracted to feminine women
  • Dating ‘the Player’ [1:44]
  • Dean, affectionately called Deaniebaby, is super handsome and he knows how to make a girl feel special. The issue with Dean is that he has a reputation as a player. So, what if you were dating a Deaniebaby in real life?
  • Signs a guy is not looking for a serious relationship:
  • ● They tell you using phrases like ‘it’s not you it’s me’
  • ● Your friends are telling you to be careful
  • During the show, the dynamic between Dean and Caelynn is all about Caelynn not understanding her value. She basically tells Dean how needy she is and you can see him pull away. Good thing for her Dylan was waiting in the wings.
  • Takeaway: Your job isn’t to change a guy. Why are you not being a woman of value? Men run away from women who want to change them.
  • Why Test a Great Guy? Just Be Honest [13:44]
  • Is Katie sabotaging any chance she has for a relationship? “When a guy tells you something he says what he means. There normally aren’t any hidden messages,” Chris says. For Katie to continue asking Chris if he is sure is her way of putting up a wall and all Chris hears is double talk. It is confusing.
  • Takeaway: Guys like a safe bet. Mixed signals confuse them.
  • Ladies if you are dating someone worth it you can't mess with them because another girl is going to swoop in to take your place. Tayshia’s treatment of JPJ is an example of this.
  • Takeaway: If you are not sure about someone or are not ready to commit, instead of planting a seed about someone better — communicate with them and tell them you are not ready to be exclusive.
  • The Modern -Day Alpha Male [22:47]
  • Women say it all the time ‘I want an alpha male’ but what does it really mean? Is it aggressive? It is assertive? If that type of behavior isn’t in alignment with who the guy really is do you really want him to change?
  • Nicole tells the handsome, buff, manly Clay he needs to be more aggressive. Then, she follows it up by going out with Mr. Machismo, who eventually got in a fistfight. She realizes she wants a guy who is assertive, not aggressive.
  • Takeaway: A modern alpha guy is more than just muscles and money. He is assertive and can articulate his feelings.

 

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