Marni welcomes growth strategist and consultant, Julie Pryor to the Life Check Yourself studio, where the duo discuss how to switch your mindset in a way to make it work in your favor. They reflect on the importance of accountability and that of the words we tell ourselves. Speaking about what it takes to build an impactful brand and the lessons gleaned from her experiences, Julie’s method isn’t just about the numbers.
· How to create your own results
· Trust yourself
· How to hold yourself accountable
Shifting Your Mindset [12:34]
You need to embrace all the things that make you you rather than looking for validation externally. You’re not the victim, you’re the architect of your own life. That is, things are not happening to you; they’re happening for you.
The process is about having the courage to make new choices, having the courage to ask for help, just having the courage to look within.
New Level, New Devil [19:20]
There’s this common misconception that many people hold, where they’re convinced that once they achieve a particular goal, all their problems will disappear. But the reality is that with each stage in life, there are the challenges that come with it. However, you find out through these challenges, the areas where you’re lacking in confidence and how to start working on that.
It was an energy. It was an energetic leaking. I wasn’t seeing the results that I wanted.
Do You Practice Accountability? [27:36]
While it’s not discussed as often as other key concepts, accountability is something a lot of us minimize in our lives. By learning to hold yourself accountable, you also learn to do what you say you’re going to do, when you’re going to do it.
Those couple of projects I’m procrastinating on, I bring them back to the forefront and I recommit.
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Marni welcomes power couple Mali Apple and Joe Dunn to the Life Check Yourself studio, where the trio discuss what it means to deal with jealousy in relationships. They reflect on the importance of communication and addressing the root cause of these feelings. How do past experiences and social influences play a role in breeding feelings of jealousy? Mali and Joe are award-winning authors, coaches, and best friends.
How to have an open conversation
Don’t be impulsive
What is rational jealousy?
Jealousy PTSD and Impulse Control [08:19]
There is rational and irrational jealousy. Sometimes the reason we have feelings of jealousy with a partner has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with our own past experiences. The first step, however, is to do nothing. Don’t act on impulse.
You’ve got to give yourself some time to breathe and take a look at where it’s coming from, where it’s actually coming from.
Why Are You Jealous? [14:27]
It’s important to do some self-reflection as to where these feelings of jealousy are stemming from. What are you telling yourself when you’re faced with a situation where these feelings come up? Once that’s done, it’s time to reprogram your internal narrative or dialogue.
You know that your partner doesn’t want you to be jealous and will do what they can to keep you from being jealous.
One Person’s Cheating is Another Person’s Chilling [20:19]
What is defined as cheating for one person, could be defined as harmless for another. So, it’s important to have these conversations and ask the right questions at the beginning of a relationship.
Some of these questions might determine whether or not you really want to be in a relationship or should be in a relationship.
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Marni welcomes Rachel Russo to the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss what it means to find your person and the importance of aligning lifestyle and vision for the success of your relationship. Rachel has been working with people to help them find love for almost 18 years. The matchmaker, and dating and relationship coach has a long history in the industry and she’s got a few gems to share on what it means to have a healthy relationship with the right partner.
What’s the deal with age gaps?
He might not be what you’re looking for
Do you have core compatibility?
It Starts with You [12:00]
It’s vital for you to know yourself before venturing out on the dating scene. What that means is that you need to figure out what is important for you, what your values are and how it is you want to spend your life.
What they really need is core compatibility on how they want to live and how they want to be in a relationship.
There Is Someone For Everyone [21:28]
No matter what your situation, there is someone out there for you. Whether you’re a single mom in her 40s or a three-times divorced woman in her 50s, there are men out there who are looking for your exact lifestyle and everything that makes you you. Don’t be discouraged by anything anyone says and don’t weave limiting narratives about yourself.
The number of kids doesn’t have to stop you. And also, being really upfront and clear [is important], like I’m not looking for a provider, I’m looking for a partner.
Be Flexible [29:07]
No one is saying compromise everything. But it’s not just about these superficial qualities you’re looking for. While attraction is necessary, and there are certain things every woman looks for to feel that romantic spark, there needs to be more flexibility.
You have to strike a balance because we do have to rule people out. But we can’t make these premature judgments, and a lot of the sabotaging has to do with these superficial things.
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Marni welcomes Heather Leick to the Life Check Yourself studio for a coaching session. Leick’s objective is to get through feelings of imposter syndrome. Heather is someone who reinvented her life after getting out of an abusive relationship and leaving a job she didn’t love to pursue one that she does. The duo discusses imposter syndrome, habit of self-sabotage and Leick’s difficulty when it comes to expressing herself.
· Why do you hide yourself?
· Where does your self-sabotaging stem from?
· What’s your central thread?
Feelings of Belonging are Natural [07:27]
Everybody wants to belong. It’s natural to feel nervous when you’re introducing yourself or presenting yourself to a group of new people. It’s normal to want to be picked and liked.
If you didn’t have that self-doubt, what would that look and feel like?
Self-Sabotage Happens on Different Levels [08:59]
When you hide a part of yourself, it’s a draining on the long run. Partial expression of yourself is not sustainable because it feels dissonant in your body.
When we don’t feel enough that we can be who we really are, we’re sabotaging on so many levels.
The Love Shield [15:05]
The love shield is this central thread that people have that is the through line within their life. When it’s used for good, it’s a super power. But when it’s used in the shadow side, it takes us away from ourselves. It’s essentially a recurrent quality or trait that you have that can either be good or bad for you depending on when and how you use it.
For me, mine is to create possibility, like I can create possibility anywhere. But also, I can create possibility when I’m fixing people who don’t need to be fixed.
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Marni welcomes Evan Marc Katz to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo delves into what dating looks like today and how to navigate it. Why do women keep falling into the same patterns? How do you tap into your feelings?
Evan is a dating coach that has helped over 13 thousand women from all over the world. Having written 4 books, he is also a successful podcast host. In tackling the topic of dating at all ages, Evan explains what it means to find your person. It’s not just about the mantras but setting an action plan.
· Stay in the game
· Seek consciousness and intention
· How to be strong universally
Stop Focusing on Landing the Man [10:00]
We always think of dating as an accomplishment. Women tend to focus on landing the man rather than looking at how they feel. Face your emotions. Ask yourself how you feel within the relationship. It’s not about the man looking good on paper, it’s about the connection that is meant to come with that.
Do I feel safe, heard, and understood? Can I relax and let my guard down, and trust that he’ll be there for me and accept me in full?
Hope Springs Eternal [17:48]
People soften with age, they get better. They’re more self-aware, more supportive of each other. Life is peppered with examples of people who found love not only in the most unlikely places but later on in life as well. And you shouldn’t lose hope but you should set an action plan.
Hope springs eternal. So, my belief is that there’s enough good guys to warrant it, especially for women of a certain age who are surrounded by people who have given up on love.
Dump the Scarcity Thinking [23:12]
Stop doubting yourself If you’ve left your partner for all the right reasons. Trust yourself and start reframing it in your mind. It’s easy to fall into that pit of self-doubt, wondering whether you’ll ever be loved this way again or whether you’ll ever be treated this way again. You will. This relationship was just a stepping stone, it unlocked something in you.
Why would you treat him like he’s the last man on earth? So many people come back to coaching because they had something that was ill-fated, and it awakened something inside of them.
Make a Connection:
Marni Marni welcomes Dr.Diane Mueller to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo discusses sexual health, intimacy and how to get your sexy back. Dr.Diane is a podcast host who’s helped many women reclaim their vitality and jumpstart their libido. She also holds a doctorate in naturopathic medicine. Women often forget the importance of sex and the nuances that come with that kind of intimacy. However, sexual intimacy is one of the pillars for a good healthy life.
How does stress affect your sex drive?
Sex is a foundation of health
Why you should care about your libido
It’s All in the Hormones, Baby [08:01]
Stress affects men and women differently when it comes to their sex drive. Similarly, the hormones released by men and by women after being intimate have a different effect on each gender. Whereas men release vasopressin, which allows them to then become focused, women release oxytocin, which gives them the urge to be held.
What happens with stress is that stress will actually turn down oxytocin.
What’s Sex Got to do With it? [12:58]
Conversations surrounding sex and sexuality when it comes to women, for centuries, have been regarded as too taboo to talk about. It is only over the past decade or so, that these topics are being tackled more. And with good reason.
Being sexually intimate has proven to raise happiness levels and reduce anxiety. It also decreases social isolation and feelings of loneliness.
There’s some research that is connecting a proper healthy sex life with really maintaining the longevity of a happy relationship.
Be Present [19:18]
To actually enjoy pleasure means to be present in the moment. Sounds self-evident but many women will sometimes zone out during the act as their mind drifts off to the laundry list or the grocery list or something that needs to be done. And that’s because of the way the hormones released affect the brain. However, that’s a sign that you’re not in the present, that you’re not in the body.
The more we’re in that moment experiencing pleasure, the more oxytocin, the more stress resilience, the more happiness and all those things.
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Marni welcomes Laura Foster to the Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses what it means to be in alignment with your true self by un-programming yourself. Laura has been helping women through her movement Soul Healing Humanity, and through her technique Holistic Scaffolding, to unpack their bullshit and leave it behind. The maverick, who decided to cut the bullshit out of her own life, guides her clients into doing the same and finding a massive makeshift in their physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
How to cut the bullshit
Stop the distractions
Be there for you
Is Your Unhappiness Seeping through? [04:40]
It seems evident but looking at your happiness, or lack thereof, is the first indicator of whether you need to make a change or not. And sometimes, you might not even know that you’re unhappy. While things might look great on the outside, and you’ve ticked all the boxes for what a successful happy life looks like, what’s underneath is what counts more.
When I’d stop all the doing and the busyness, and I would start to come into alignment with my true self, it was like that’s where a lot of unhappiness is coming from.
Who is Your True Self?[13:00]
Your true self is what’s underneath everything you’ve been programmed to believe; it’s underneath everything you’ve been conditioned into thinking you need to do; and it’s underneath all the human bullshit. And as you get closer to who your true self is, you get into your power. But that’s something only you can do.
To take back your power means to live in alignment with your true self.
Be Your Own Guru [20:38]
While it is beneficial to hear out other people or gurus, what ends up happening is that you replace one set of rules and dogma with another. However, the reality is, no one knows what’s best for you more than you do.
Once you learn this framework that gets you to where you’re your own guru, then you design a life that you love by you, for you.
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Marni welcomes Gillian Pothier to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo dissects what masculine energy and maleness actually mean. Gillian is a writer, a teacher, and a mentor who has helped women create fulfilling lifelong relationships with the men in their lives. And that extends to their romantic partners, their brothers, and their fathers. Her work centers around what becomes possible when you understand masculine and feminine energy.
We need to talk about dad
How to get right with the nature of maleness
Is it time to reclaim the source of patriarchy?
Going Back to Basics [03:35]
If you’re to start fixing or developing the masculine relationships in your lives, you need to look at the source code, the first template. And that’s the father figure. Women need to look back at what’s inside their systems because we project these same wounds unconsciously over and over again.
If we’re talking about a path of repair with men in the masculine, in our lives, we have to look at the OG.
Dethroning the Father [08:19]
Women do not understand men and maleness. The reality is that so many women continue to homogenize and feminize men. We want them to be like us. It’s important to cleanse ourselves from the distortions taught to us by a culture that degrades men in the masculine.
We tend to use feminine values and ethos and morals and preferences in our relationship with men to judge them as a good man.
Tough Love [14:15]
For what has happened to you as a little girl or throughout different stages of your life, it can easily be said that it wasn’t your responsibility. But the moment it lives in your nervous system and your constellation of beliefs, it becomes your responsibility.
It’s not about blaming women though. But it is about understanding that in order to have the experience that you want, this is an invitation by life or the divine to enter into a heroine’s journey and create.
We have developed a capitalistic socio-political word called the patriarchy. But patria means family.
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Marni welcomes Marie Garvey to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo talks about what it means for a woman to find her own voice and be in her own power, proudly. Marie is an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker and an executive and life coach who has empowered women to find success while being present in their power. From a young age, women are programmed into the good girl mentality. Marie helps them break free of that to become who they are meant to be today rather than who those around them have defined them as.
Our worth isn’t in other people’s hands
How to stop being uncomfortable with conflict
It’s a good girl rebellion
What Happens to the Good Girl? [07:52]
The Good Girl mentality breeds a form of constant expectations where you're always waiting to get a pat on the back or to be commended for doing the right thing. But the danger with that is what happens when you don’t get that pat on the back or the recognition for having been a “good.” And that usually results in women working harder, and thinking that if they just do more, they'll get it.
We’ve been told, ‘Don’t be too much,’ and we’re walking around being people pleasers and perfectionists all the time.
Step Into Your Feminine [15:14]
It is okay to be in your feminine and your masculine energy because both are valuable. But own your feminine energy because the world needs that. Women are better listeners and collaborators whereas men tend to see the world more in black and white. Hone in your feminine advantages and step into that energy.
I think every woman I’ve met, certainly every woman I work with has moderated their light to fit what they believe the world can handle of them.
You Got This [19:55]
When it comes to the workforce, a lot of women don’t trust their own capabilities or power. It’s this overwhelming sense of ‘I haven’t earned this.’
And it is that kind of mentality that stops them from putting their hat in the ring.
There are so many corporations that want women at the highest levels. And my biggest problem is convincing them that they’re ready for it.
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Marni welcomes Shyama Mathews to The Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses what it means to go through menopause and how to handle the changes your body is experiencing. Shyama is a gynecologist who is trained in minimal invasive gynecology surgery as well as a certified menopause specialist. She has helped women navigate their families and careers while enhancing their quality of life. In tackling the topic of menopause, Marni and Shyama agree that it isn’t something that is discussed enough, and it’s important to bear in mind that different women experience it differently. The transition, which has both mental and physical symptoms, is a subject that needs to gain more traction as it affects all women at some point.
Menopause isn’t the big bad wolf
Not everyone experiences it in the same way
How to seek the right information on menopause
Does Our Fear Stem From Misinformation [09:36]
Menopause isn’t a topic typically discussed in the media. The information surrounding menopause and what women should expect isn’t as readily available as other topics. While there are a number of resources, you need to actively search for them as they won’t necessarily how up on your feed. While the average age for menopause is around 50. However, the symptoms for menopause can start manifesting themselves 5 to 7 years before that.
It isn’t actually an irrelevant topic for young women because I do think everyone should sort of know what’s coming down the road.
Don’t DIY it [13:00]
It’s important to find the proper channels and experts to guide you through it when you start experiencing symptoms that you’re not familiar with. When you’re in an age bracket where it is likely to be menopause, do your research and find an expert to help you navigate it and dissect whether the symptoms are a byproduct of menopause or something else.
Go for a consultation just like you would treat any other illness or problem. Go to a specialist for a special problem.
Know Your Options [22:28]
Educating yourself on your body is important, especially as a woman. It could save you a lot of otherwise unnecessary trouble. As women, we need to be aware of our options and that comes through education.
We have old information. We’re doing a huge disservice.
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Marni welcomes Leah Van Dolder to The Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses our relationship with food, perfectionism, and the line that separates success from failure. Leah is a mindset coach who has helped thousands of clients hit their weight goal while simultaneously leveling up their confidence and their energy, as well as achieving a stronger sense of self. Women often set high expectations for themselves, and while that might be good in a lot of cases, it can also be destructive when too much expectation is placed on a certain goal.
How to achieve your goal sustainably
The key is achievable goals
How to have that wake-up call
Allow Yourself to be Human [06:26]
Your mindset should be taking it one step at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself because that is not sustainable and will not get you to where you need to be. Rather than jump all in with unrealistic expectations, break up your goal into achievable steps. You are human, so allow yourself room for error.
What are those daily things that we can do? Such as drinking a liter of water before bed, blocking those workouts in your schedule, or having an appointment with yourself 3 days a week.
Listen to your soul [10:59]
When you feel a certain desire, one that is nagging at you, listen to it. It’s there for a reason. It’s meant to happen for you. But you need to be the one to make it a reality. Make time for what it is you want to achieve.
There’s never going to be a right time to make a change.
What’s Your Relationship with Food [18:20]
Examine your eating habits, look at your relationship with food. We all placate ourselves by reasoning with ourselves. Whether we’re overeating because we don’t want to waste food or we are invited out for dinner at a 5-star restaurant, there is always a way around these excuses.
When it comes to a choice of our own, I think to myself, ‘okay, who is living and feeling the consequence of my choice?
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Marni welcomes Naketa Ren to The Life Check Yourself where the duo talks about balancing life, love, and success as well as learning how to take pauses when you need them. Naketa is a podcast host, author, and the number one balance and relationship advisor globally. The powerhouse helps clients find that work-life balance, build a sustainable successful business while also prioritizing mental health and personal relationships. And it all starts with knowing when to slow down, and how to do it.
Give yourself permission to slow down
How to be mindful
How to leave an imprint on the world
The Multigenerational Imprint [10:17]
The multigenerational imprint that you leave on this planet begins with yourself. It stems from showing up as an individual that honors authenticity, transparency, and kindness. It’s by practicing all those qualities with yourself that you can then share them with others. Be kind to yourself, be transparent with yourself and be authentic and honest when looking inwards.
Authenticity is different from transparency. You could be very authentic and show up as fully who you are but not be transparent with why you are being that way.
How You Show Up Could be Killing You [15:47]
How do you speak to yourself? Is it with kindness? Or are you harsh on yourself? Focus on what it is you say to you because when you put yourself down, and stress yourself out, you’re not only unhealthy mentally but physically as well. Stress dictates a big part of our physical health. It accounts for a high percentage of non-congenital illnesses.
How you think of yourself and how you show up for yourself could be killing you slowly.
Imagine all of those hidden diseases and hidden illnesses that are stress-induced.
High Egos And Corporate Traumas [21:00]
It’s not a bad thing to have an ego, but it is bad to let your ego run the whole show. Unfortunately, we can’t change another person’s ego. What we can do is hold up a mirror to them but sometimes it’s not enough.
And in a work environment, your superiors' egos could be destructive to your mental well-being as well as those around you. But how do you galvanize the shift?
You can change how you react to the person while building your exit plan.
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Marni welcomes Dr.Ken Druck to the Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses how to heal from loss and use it to become a better version of yourself. Dr.Ken is a best-selling author who has coached leaders both in business and in government. Having gone through the tragic loss of his daughter Jenna, Dr.Ken managed to develop groundbreaking work that has helped bereaved families and taught people how to recuperate from life’s biggest losses.
- How do you go on?
- Putting your hand on your heart
- How to calibrate the plan
What Now? [06:50]
Move from harsh criticism to kind self-compassion. What you tell yourself is important, particularly after a loss. The narrative that you tell yourself is what will determine whether you’ll lift yourself up or whether you’ll sink and miss a potential opportunity to grow.
Of course, you don’t know what to do. How could you? You this is all new. How could you not feel fearful?
Begin by Learning [16:21]
The first step starts with you. To be compassionate with others, you need to first be compassionate with yourself. One you’ve practiced self-compassion, then you can turn it outwards and truly help those around you. Don’t repress the feelings you dislike but rather sit with them.
Nothing special has happened because it’s all special.
The Seven Honorings [20:22]
There are several ways to honor someone you’ve lost. Your own survival is one of them. You get to honor the person you’ve lost by being adamant on living, on surviving. Be stubborn about it. The second is doing something good in their name because that’s something that never dies. That is how you keep them alive beyond the physical world.
It clears the ability in us to take what began as the purest love then became an unspeakable sorrow and to turn it back into the purest love.
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Marni welcomes Crystal Ware to Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses what it means to become the best version of yourself in life, love, and business. Crystal is a former Fortune 500 corporate leader and attorney who realized she wanted more out of life. She quit her job and became an entrepreneur and started her own podcast to help women take charge of their lives. And it all begins with removing the limiting belief that you do not have a choice and getting clear on your vision.
Takeaways from this episode:
- How to break free from excuses
- Get clear on your vision
- How to find that freedom
Are You in a Vicious Cycle? [07:10]
Are you strong enough? Are you smart enough? These are the questions that usually pull a person back into a cycle that they have been trying to get out of, or rather that they know they want to get out of. Fear. Fear in all its forms, fear of rejection, fear of judgment keep you spiraling in that loop. It’s almost like a constant vicious cycle that prevents you from getting off where you need to in order to get to the metaphorical train station.
One of the first things you need to do is get really clear on where you want to end up, having that live vision for yourself is the most important thing.
Break Free from Limiting Beliefs [12:24]
It’s important to recognize that, no matter what stage you’re in, you always have a choice in your career, in your relationship, and in your life in general. Part of that is taking steps towards breaking free from the limiting beliefs you may be holding.
I think when you have the courage to recognize it then the power is liberating.
But What Are Virtuous Cycles? [17:00]
Reframe the question. It’s vital to ask yourself the questions that matter. What would give you more peace? How do you get more satisfaction and happiness? Everybody is tied down by things but it’s about looking at what brings you peace of mind. And finding the answers to those questions is what is going to align your heart, your soul, your body, and your mind with the world. The virtuous cycle is more about finding the positives that you have to contribute to the world and how to make them work for you.
What are the attributes about you that make you shine? How can you turn them into positivity in the world?.
Make a Connection:
- 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*
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Marni welcomes Veronica Amaya in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to elevate your relationship game and communicate with your partner in a way to get them to listen. Veronica is a relationship and dating coach, and the founder of the Conscious Relationship School. She has helped thousands of women and men overcome dating anxiety and break unhealthy relationship patterns.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Men are team players
- You attract what you believe
- How to communicate softly
Leave Your Judgment at the Door [05:15]
Sometimes, the blame that women attribute to men stems from a place of self-protection and self-preservation. However, when you date with these negative stereotypes about men living in the back of your mind, you end up interpreting everything your partner does through that lens.
You also end up attracting the type of person you fear most.
If you believe a certain thing then you’re going to have that experience. We have to look at how you create those new beliefs that will reflect what you want.
Trust Him to Lead [13:00]
It’s important for the man in a relationship to feel really strong in himself so that he can be secure in the knowledge that he is capable of handling things.
When you start putting more trust in your partner, very often he’s going to show up in ways you didn’t expect.
I think once the butterflies and rainbow part of a relationship is over, these are the things that can sabotage a really good relationship.
The Medium is the Message [19:00]
It’s about communicating softly. It’s in the way you say things. That doesn’t mean that you need to stay silent but rather that you need to say things in a kind and soft way.
Many women go immediately into anger. Men are usually logic-oriented. So, if you give him this problem to fix, he will respond.
Sometimes that means that you won’t get your needs met immediately. Sometimes, you’re going to have a lot of pain that comes up too. That’s part of softness.
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Marni welcomes Silvia Quintella in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to clear your path of energy you’ve been holding onto from previous experiences to begin embracing your authentic self. Silvia is an entrepreneur and a certified transformational life coach who has found her passion in energy healing and helping others. She’s guided many women in their journey towards finding their authentic selves and following their intuition.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Find safety in your authenticity
- How to get to the root cause
- Disconnect from that ex
Release That Energy…it’s Holding you Back [06:03]
Coming out of a relationship or a divorce can leave us feeling emotionally imbalanced and energetically depleted. As women move towards middle age, it is particularly questions like, “Will I fall in love again?”, “Am I lovable enough?” that start plaguing them.
However, it’s vital to release the energetic force that they’ve carried during and as a result of that former relationship, or in some cases, from all those former relationships.
Find a balance between body, mind, and soul. It’s not just what my mind wants but what my soul wants.
Give the Order [22:50]
To talk to your spiritual team, you don’t need to meditate or do a particular ritual. Just close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and say, ‘I know what I’m going through and I deserve better. You know I deserve better, so take the lead.’
And that order rewires your brain.
You touch your heart to silence the ego mind.
Trust Yourself [29:02]
Learn to develop trust in yourself. Usually, we have trust issues because the inner child has something that is missing. We need to acknowledge that little girl’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses. We need to explore where they stem from and why.
Next is identifying where we feel it in our body.
Imagine that thing is being removed from every single cell in your body.
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Marni welcomes Frank E Legette III in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss the most common mistakes women make when it comes to relationships and how to improve said relationships, or rather how to know if it’s time to call it quits. Frank is a life coach for women, a pastor and author of the book, The Art of Womanhood. He’s been providing guidance for single women who are looking for a loving relationship for years and empowering them to leave toxic relationships and find their happiness.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Don’t chase him
- How to keep the power
- What is he working for?
Don’t Put him in the Driver’s Seat [15:03]
Using a metaphor, Frank explains that when in a car ride, it is the driver that determines the speed and the direction of the journey. Similarly, in a relationship, it is the driver that is the pursued and the passenger that is the pursuer. Following that logic, one of the main mistakes women make is that they put the man in the driver seat of the relationship before he has earned the right to occupy that space. When the man is in the driver’s seat, he is given the power to determine the direction of the relationship.
She doesn’t know if he’s capable of loving her the way she wants to be loved. And all of a sudden, he’s in the driver’s seat. He determines how quickly this relationship goes..
Broken Heart Syndrome [24:25]
Can a broken heart lead to health complications? Frank elaborates that it has been found that having broken spirit, or rather being unhappy can lead to a series of medical complications, especially among women. And for many women, this source of unhappiness can stem from a toxic relationship. When a woman is unhappy or stressed, two hormones are secreted: adrenaline and cortisol. And these can lead to health complications.
It affects more women than it does men because they refuse not to be loved by the man that they pledged their loyalty and fealty too. And it affects their happiness.
Build a Solid Foundation [30:06]
Women assume that men know how they want to be treated and how they want to be loved. However, it is the woman herself who is the only one that knows how she wants to be loved and treated – men don’t know, regardless of how many relationships they’ve been in.
When you start a new relationship, you’re building a foundation. And if you make it to the altar, on the wedding day, you don’t get a new foundation.
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Marni welcomes Aaron Johnson to the Life Check Yourself studio where they discuss the importance of feeling your feels. The duo delves into the ways in which to hold that space for someone who might not have been socialized into expressing themselves in a healthy manner. Aaron is the co-founder of Holistic Resistance and Grief to Action where he works to help facilitate the healing process for men, particularly within BIPOC communities. How does one heal trauma and process it in a healthy way? And where do we start?
Takeaways from this episode:
- Why crying is a necessary release
- What is tender platonic touching?
- How to feel your feels
Platonic Touching [08:40]
In the exceedingly masculine culture that is America, many men suffer from what Aaron has termed being “chronically under-touched.” What that means is that they did not have enough tender platonic touching growing up. And this manifests in a certain way in one’s adult life.
Tenderness for men, with men, lands in our body initially as violence. It feels like violence, and violence feels like normal. We have to heal that trauma.
Let Him Build Creativity [13:15]
When men aren’t coming from a chronically under-touched state, they are able to be more present within a relationship. But how does one nurture that side of themselves? One of the ways is through creativity.
Now, that does not mean that as women, we need to do this for our partners but rather it means we need to be supportive of them while allowing them to do it on their own. This is a part of their growth.
It’s so important to practice being a good witness but not going in and rescuing right away.
Release and Repair [19:20]
Releasing and repairing are cornerstones of healing. Somatic experiences aid in the release necessary for healing trauma. Music is a somatic discharge experience. While it has historically been used as a means for healing, particularly within POC communities, music has recently become part of mainstream mental health toolkit.
And for good reason, it is a method that is inspiring and profound.
We don’t have a life design in America to actually take somatic healing in its full depth; we’re taking sip of it but we don’t actually have a life design.
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Marni welcomes Mick Heyman to the Life Check Studio where they discuss sound money management. The duo delves into how to manage your finances while staying mellow. Mick is the CFA and founder of Heyman Investments and has been working in wealth investments for over 40 years. A lot of people struggle when it comes to growing and organizing their wealth which inevitably leads to stress. But what are actually the best practices? And where does one start? More importantly how do we deal with our finances while still retaining our chill?
Takeaways from this episode:
- How to stay mellow
- Don’t completely listen to the headlines
- Look back to understand
Examine Your Own Emotions [12:06]
Every single person is unique. What one person can handle; another might not be able to. So, when making certain financial decisions, look at your own emotions and assess what risks you are able to take. It’s equally important to bear in mind that regardless of how much you prepare, surprises will occur. And when they do, you need to have strong hands.
Nobody should have more stock than their sleeping level.
Pay Yourself First [22:40]
Paying yourself first means that wherever that check is coming from, it’s vital to first start by putting a little something away. And that practice eventually becomes a habit that you take with you.
Think of it as money buckets. You put money into those depending on what you want to grow and what you’re okay with risking. For example, one bucket could be for your dream house while the other could be for house maintenance and so on. A little bit of knowledge goes a long way.
Knowing what you own can really help you.
Money, Money, Money [29:02]
It’s important to be patient and to acknowledge that there will be times where you won’t necessarily be hitting your target. There are certain aspects you can control and others that you can’t. The market is one of the things, for example, that you can’t control, and that’s something you need to accept.
In the end, look at what the long-term can do for you, and you’ll relax.
Make a Connection:
- 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*
In this new series of Life Check Yourself, Marni divulges the tips and tricks for professional, successful women to optimize the big work, big life balance. In this episode, the life coach discusses what to do when you feel stuck, whether it’s at work, in a relationship, or in a personal project. Many women feel frustrated when they find themselves unable to achieve a certain goal, and the advice given to them is to work harder. But what if that is not the right advice? In this episode Marni delves into why strategy isn’t the be all and end all of achieving your dreams. It is more about mastering your inner game.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Why overworking yourself is not the answer
- Stop Trusting the external
- Have you been asking yourself the wrong questions?
Why Aren’t the Results Matching Your Intentions? [00:20]
On a professional, as well as a personal level, many women end up feeling frustrated after having put in so much effort and so much of themselves into a certain goal that didn’t yield the results they were expecting. What usually ends up happening is they automatically decide to work harder, and put in twice as much effort. But sometimes working too hard might actually be moving them further away from the answers they need to succeed.
Women, especially, have this built-in wiring and programming that the more that we do (for other people), the more that we shine, the more that we show how great we are, the more we perfect, the more we deliver then we will get noticed for that.
Look in the Mirror [ 07:40]
When things don’t go your way, remove your focus from the external and look inwards. In order to achieve your dreams, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Rather than focus on strategy, look internally for the answers as to why you are stuck in a certain situation.
Ask yourself the questions that matter instead of diminishing yourself, and laying blame on yourself. Because what doesn’t move you closer to the answers you need to succeed, moves you further away.
What is it that I am pretending not to know in order for me to have the problem I think I have?
Are You Aligned With Your Goals? [12:30]
To succeed, you need to be emotionally-connected to what you are doing, whatever that is. Look at your heartset and your mindset because things fall into place when your authentic self is in alignment with your goals.
There is a difference between what you should do and what you want to do. It’s a trap that a lot of people fall into as they scramble to do what they think is expected of them. However, it is more important for you to do what resonates with you on an internal level.
There are shoulds that are pre-programmed in that are distracting them. They’re working on these things that they think they should do, rather than the things that are really connected to their heartset.
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Marni welcomes Kim DeYoung in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss the fear that comes with making choices. The duo delve into the ways with which to overcome that indecision that paralyzes a lot of men and women when faced with an important decision. Kim is an entrepreneur, choice coach, and the author of The Book of Choice. She has had over two decades of experience in helping entrepreneurs and individuals make meaningful choices that help them bring their ideas and dreams to life.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Let go of fear
- A lot of it is about consciousness
- What is the choice mapping process?
You Control All Your Choices [06:55]
Everybody has to make choices. It's unavoidable, and we’re making thousands of them a day whether we realize it or not. It is important to realize that you have agency and control over your choices. Even when it is something that is out of your control, your agency lies in how you choose to react to it. The key is to find where in that choice you actually have control.
Many of us have been conditioned into thinking that we can’t make a choice due to past experiences among other things. Release that limiting belief.
We sit in a story about who we were, how we were labeled. All of those stories, if we don’t consciously work to get rid of them or remarry them, affect how we show up and how we make choices.
The Choice Mapping System [11:28]
It is important to capture the important internal dialogue for yourself. In noting down your choices and keeping track of them, you are able to learn and grow.
In every choice, whether a positive or negative outcome, there is something to be learned. It is always unfolding for you even when sometimes it doesn’t feel good.
For better or for worse, all the choices we make are unlocking a treasure trove.
A Leap of Faith [17:56]
It is almost like a tug war where on the one hand your fear is holding you back but on the other hand what is possible is pulling you into the future. But pushing forward requires a sense of awareness, consciousness and alertness. It starts by doing the work on yourself and showing up for yourself.
Step into what’s possible to let go of the fear of what’s there.
Make a Connection:
- 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*
- Follow us on Instagram @marnibattista_
- Kim DeYoung's book: The Book of Choice
- Kim DeYoung’s FREE 5 Questions to Ask Before Making a Choice
Marni welcomes Arielle Ford in the Life Check Yourself studio where they discuss love, betrayal, revenge and healing. Arielle Ford is a celebrated relationship and love expert; she has written over ten non-fiction books. For her most recent novel, The Love Thief, which is fiction, the author draws from real-life experiences to breathe life into her characters who find themselves in situations that mimic real life. The duo discusses why women fall for certain types of men and how these men get into their heads. How do these smart women end up getting hurt despite knowing better? What does it mean to feel the sting of betrayal? Most people have felt it but not everyone has drawn a lesson out of it. Sometimes it takes a few betrayals to get closer to differentiating between what is love and what isn’t. There is light at the end of the tunnel and that light will help guide you to the right one if you give yourself the chance.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Don’t Overlook the Red Flags
- Falling in love is like being on drugs
- How to come out the other side
- Don’t beat yourself up; learn
- Is love all you need?
- Love is a choice
Betrayal is Universal [10:40]
We’ve all done silly things in the name of love. And many of us have beaten ourselves up over not knowing better. But why is it that when someone shows who they are, we don’t believe them?
We’ve all either dated or heard of the toxic narcissist type. He’s smooth, he gets into your head, and he says and does all the right things…at first. What this type does though is target smart, beautiful and successful women. On the one hand, it could be taken as a compliment that he chose you – but regardless, run for the hills. And in the case where you don’t, here’s a little breakdown of that type.
How does he manage to get into our heads? Well, firstly this type of man doesn’t go for the average woman. He goes after the one that is constantly trying to make something of herself; the one who is independent and driven; and the one who gets satisfaction from her career. She is also the one that might crave a certain kind of love, the one who wants a partner who’ll whisper all the things she wants to hear into her ear, the one who longs for a partner who sees her, and the one who wants to be wined and dined.
And that’s exactly how he gets in the door. He plays the role of prince charming, and for a while, he does it well. But in the back of our head, we know that it feels too good to be true. But, by the time we’ve realized that it is in fact too good to be true, we’re already hooked.
Getting over heartbreak is harder than recovering from a cocaine addiction. It’s because of brain chemistry. And I like to call the state of being in love, the socially acceptable form of insanity.
When a person falls in love, their brain is on drugs; it’s on oxytocin, adrenaline and dopamine – all the feel-good hormones. And the person keeps craving more, just like an addict does. When that love is taken away from the person, they have no choice and end up going through a form of withdrawal. And that tends to happen with the toxic narcissist or most red-flag types.
That being said though, there is healing on the other side. And what’s more is that those who go through these kinds of betrayals are now armed with a tool: they can now tell the difference between what is love and what actually isn’t.
Did the Beatles Get it Wrong? [16:00]
All you need is love….but is it though?
This is the mantra of the new-agers. Growing up, we’ve been told that love is letting go of fear; that if you love someone, everything else falls into place. We’ve been exposed to this notion over and over again through the films, the songs, and the books we’ve consumed. But how true is it? Does love conquer all?
In a nutshell, love is not enough. We could love someone who is actually not a suitable partner for us. A lot of us have been through this where we’ve spent so much time in a relationship trying to fix the person or the situation, because we kept telling ourselves that we love them and that that’s all we need. And that it’s worth it. Even when we had an inkling that they may not actually be the one for us.
And yet we persisted, because we’ve been socialized into believing that love means everything and it solves everything.
However, the reality of it is that if we want to have a lasting, long-term relationship, then we need to be with someone we’re compatible with, someone we have a connection with, and who we have strong communication with. And more importantly, someone who shares our vision of the future.
How both partners envision their shared future is what they will both be working towards and building on. So, only having love without any of these other factors that ensure a successful relationship isn’t necessarily a good idea. Partners in a relationship need to be aligned on their vision in order for it to last and be healthy.
All You Need is Love is this myth that keeps women in relationships that aren’t good for them.
It’s a harsh truth. But in reality, when someone’s been in a long relationship, there will be days when they can’t stand their partner, where they almost hate them. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love them. Most people haven’t completely grasped what love means. They think love is a feeling.
Love is a behavior. It’s a choice, it’s a decision, it’s an action, and it’s a way of being.
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Marni welcomes Kalyn Romaine in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss achieving innovative results while still maintaining integrity and compassion. Kalyn is an entrepreneur and an organizational psychologist who empowers individuals to reach their dream careers. The duo talks about what it means to trust your intuition and follow the breadcrumbs to achieve your dream goals.
Takeaways from this episode:
Don’t personalize it
Distractions hinder you
What is nice nasty?
Resilience is Key [11:31]
Resilience is needed to build courage and to hear your intuition. The experience of getting to where you need to be will have ups and downs. But not giving up is key. Most people don’t realize that resilience is necessary. It is what gets you to the very end; it’s what helps you build the strength you need.
Resilience is allowing something to get beat up so that it can be stronger and grow.
Finding Your Identity [19:02]
Most women, and especially black women, describe their business as a side hustle. Men, however, do not describe it the same. Finding yourself, particularly as a woman, and owning it puts a shift in the way you act. If you have started a business and you start calling yourself a founder, which is what you are, you start having more accountability.
It made me think of it as a real company and not just something I’m doing.
Stand in Your Glory [25:20]
Women tend to shy away from taking the credit they deserve. But we need to stand in our glory. When we shy away from it, it diminishes. It inadvertently makes people respect us less. Don’t make yourself small and take the credit you deserve.
The response was totally different. When you diminish who you are, people see you as common
Make a Connection:
- 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*
- Are You Making These Unconscious Mistakes With Men? *Free Training*
- Ready To Take Control Of Your Dating Life? Book A Call With Us
Marni welcomes Jamie Cannon in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to recognize a narcissistic personality, what the tell-tale signs of a murky relationship are and how to get out of it. Jamie is a writer who focuses on trauma, anxiety and grief. She’s worked on empowering women particularly victims of abuse and domestic violence survivors.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Trust your instincts
- Know the signs
- How to recognize love bombing
Recognizing the Signs [04:02]
There is this misconception that associates being stuck in an abusive relationship with a lack of education. However, it can happen to anyone.
A lot of educated women fall either for narcissists or with personalities that have narcissistic tendencies. In the beginning of a relationship, the person they are attracted to either hides these tendencies or uses very sophisticated manipulation techniques.
Moreover, sometimes when a woman is adamant on what she wants, which is to settle down and build a future, it’s easy to overlook those subtle warning signs.
Women beat themselves thinking I should’ve seen it coming but really, should you have seen it coming?
Power and Control [07:20]
The beginning of a relationship blurs a lot of the way we perceive things. It is the phase where everything is exciting and rushed, which means that sometimes, we end up ignoring our intuition. Trust your instinct rather than making excuses for the person’s behavior. Many women tend to ignore their intuition because they have been taught to believe that they are oversensitive or that they read too much into things.
Narcissists, as we say, there’s no empathy there. So, their feelings are really the only feelings that matter.
Where Do We Find Their Value? [14:04]
A lot of women find their value externally. Learning how to find that value from an internal source is important. That is what gives you the freedom to walk away. Whereas somebody who gets their value externally, will be more inclined to stay and frame the situation as a life lesson.
At what point do we stop and say, hold on I know what I need to work on already. This guy does not know what I need to work on.
Make a Connection:
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Marni welcomes Dr. Sarah Hill in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss a myriad of topics including how hormones affect your identity and how you can stay sexy regardless of age. Dr. Sarah is an award-winning research psychologist and professor with an expertise in women, health, and sexual psychology. She was also featured in the Netflix documentary, The Principles of Pleasure and is a consultant for the dating site, Cougar Life.
Takeaways from this episode:
- How do your hormones affect your identity?
- Inner beauty is sexy
- Is taking hormones bad for you?
It’s not you, it’s your hormones [01:50]
Hormones not only affect our bodies, but our psyche as well. The hormonal transitions that women go through, which span from puberty to menopause and everything in between, have a cascading effect on their entire body including how they experience the world, and the ways in which they think and feel. Hormones can also cause an identity crisis because they are a part of what our brain uses to create the experience of being the person that we are.
You are your hormones. They aren’t just something that happens to you. They are a part of who you are.
Aging is the new 20s [08:58]
Culturally, there has always been this belief that ties women’s sexiness and attractiveness to youth. But these stereotypes are shifting as women are gaining more financial independence and embracing themselves at whatever age. As women gain more resources independently, and as a consequence more power over themselves, they become more attractive to men.
For a very long time, we were dependent on men. And what we’re starting to see [now] is that we have women who have access to their own financial resources and good jobs – and that feels powerful.
Bringing Sexy Back [14:30]
Beauty is only skin-deep…or so the old adage goes. And it turns out, it’s true, to an extent. Beauty comes from having value and feeling valuable. So, it’s important for women to find out, when they’re younger, what is it that they contribute and what is it that brings them value. Whether you’re a career woman or a stay-at-home parent, find out what it is that makes you come alive. People are at their most beautiful when they come alive. And that is something that lasts forever, regardless of age.
Make a Connection:
- 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*
- Are You Making These Unconscious Mistakes With Men? *Free Training*
- Ready To Take Control Of Your Dating Life? Book A Call With Us