Info

Life Check Yourself

Each week on the podcast, hear Marni Battista, Founder and CEO of The Institute For Living Courageously, interview the world’s top experts in how to help people live more meaningful and impactful lives.
RSS Feed Subscribe in Apple Podcasts
Life Check Yourself
2024
April
March
February
January


2023
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2022
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2021
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2020
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2019
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2016
December
November


All Episodes
Archives
Now displaying: 2017
May 28, 2017

You have a great online dating profile right? Or do you?  Just one fatal mistake can result in receiving emails from men who are absolutely not in your “league,” looking for a hookup, and totally frustrated with online dating.

That’s why the queen of profiles at eHarmony is here to tell us what makes our online dating profiles so ineffective.

Since 2008, Jeannie Assimos has been managing eHarmony’s PR and social media as well as overseeing their advice site which receives over 2 million unique visitors a month. She previously worked as the Managing Director for Entertainment Tonight and The Insider.  

 Missteps in Your Profile  [03:59]

Jeannie tells us where we are making mistakes in our dating profile.

  • Photos, Photos, and Photos.
    • Have more than one photo. No one reaches out when you only have one photo.
    • Have clear photos. If the guy doesn’t know which girl you are in the photo he may want to date your friend.
    • Add a variety of flattering photos.
  • Don’t waste precious space!
    • Generic, throwaway lines have to go. Add some detail and add what makes you unique.
    • Think about language that will make a difference and get you to stand apart from the crowd.
    • Don’t assume everyone knows what you mean. Expound.
  • Negativity does not belong in your profile.
    • Write your profile when you are in a good mood.
    • Think about what you want and not what you don’t want.
  • Be yourself and add what is important to you.

 Dating is like a business so put your best foot forward.  

 Be Honest [16:21]

Even if you are 45 but look like you are going on 32 put your real age down. Lying on your profile can never lead to something real and true. Many people get hung up on their age. It’s better to own who you are and be beautifully confident in it.

Most eHarmony couples are close to the same age.

 3 Things to Put Your Thought and Intention Into [23:05]

Put thought and intention into your profile.

Put thought and intention into your thoughts.  

Put thought and intention into the courage to put yourself out there.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

E-Harmony

May 21, 2017

Who is the 'real you'?

 

Are you fun and funny, sexy, feminine and smart, uniquely charming and charismatic?

 

Duh, of course you are!!

 

So why is it everyone around you seems to have someone…

 

And you can't meet a great guy that sees how freakin' awesome you are, adores you and pursues you???

 

Communication is the problem. The man - woman dynamic. When to give… and when to take.

 

Do you secretly think if you let your guard down and show the real you, men won’t like you or even stay with in a relationship with you?

  

Many women, strong, smart women are confused how to talk to men. How to act... to get them to do what you want. To love you the way you want to be loved.

 

I'm talking about Real Men.

 

Ladies, today you will learn a tried and true system to being and staying happy in your relationship, and even in marriage.

 

Your man wants you to be happy, so let him make you happy!

 

My guest today is the New York Times best-selling author Laura Doyle. Laura shares the secrets of her books, The Surrendered Wife, The Surrendered Single, Things Will Get as Good As You Can Stand and her new book, First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors. 150,000+ women credit her with saving their relationships but also showing them how to become desired, cherished and adored.

 

Becoming a Surrendered and Empowered Woman  [4:07]

 

After a rough patch with her husband, Laura had a bag packed and was ready to get a divorce. She decided to find out the secret to a happy marriage instead. She surveyed women who had been in the same relationship for 15-years or more and took their advice.

 

Laura says she made her marriage into a laboratory. If something worked she kept it, if it didn't she threw it out. When her husband was happy to see her again she knew it was working.

 

Your intimacy skills are either working strongly for you or against you. If you are a woman who knows about your amazing feminine gifts share it with other women. We need to share.

 

We get no training with relationships and we jump in only to crash.  

 

How Do You Feel About Relinquishing Control [10:32]

 

It can be challenging for a modern woman to relinquish control in a relationship. Women need to be in control at work and have a hard time switching gears when they get home.

 

When women are controlling it can emasculate a man.

 

Laura reminds us girls, never to ask a man how he feels. Men are not the emotionally brilliant specimens we are, so don’t waste your time.

 

Magic Words and Phrases [18:20]

 

If your husband hurts your feelings or you feel slighted in some way, Laura says don’t expound on the issue. Simply saying “ouch” is enough to let him know he hurt you and your vulnerability lets him know you are not happy. Men will re-hear what they said and not you telling them how you feel. When you use this word the man apologizes to you so you don't have to apologize to him later.  

 

If you disrespect your man, say "I apologize for being disrespectful for doing xxx." Laura recommends saying it and then shutting up.  

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Laura Doyle 

Get Cherished - Take the Get Cherished Challenge! 

May 14, 2017

Have you ever heard someone say… “Attracting a great man is not about the size of your thighs” and thought…

Yeah, right!

I totally feel you!

Ladies, you are going to love this episode of the Dating Den!  

If you are like me you have let your emotional self and your physical self impact how you are with men and how you date. Be prepared to change your life!

So many of us have had problems with some kind of addiction. My guest today, Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson, turned her addiction from hard drugs into a food addiction before she educated herself about the science behind the addiction. Her Bright Line Eating program now helps people shed pounds and to build new futures.

Dr. Susan is an Adjunct Associate Professor of Brain and Cognitive Science at the University of Rochester and an expert on the psychology of eating. She is President of the Institute of Sustainable Weight Loss and CEO of Bright Line Eating Solution. She is the author of the New York Times Best Seller, Bright Line Eating.

The Science Behind Your Addiction  [12:26]

Simply said, sugar and flour are drugs. They are the refined essence of a normally non-harmful plant. They flood the pleasure center of the brain with dopamine after eating them. The brain will modify itself to moderate the dopamine receptors. It makes people who are considering giving up sugar and flour feel desperate and bleak. Food addiction looks the same as heroin or cocaine addiction.

If you are beating yourself up about your weight it’s because you don’t trust yourself after years of betraying yourself. You can build up your integrity around food. You can slowly break the addiction.

Dating and Hating [18:46]

It's hard to show up for dates in a body you don't like. Picking clothes based on how much they hide and not on how much they show. Wishing you were in a different body. It makes you feel like you have deep psychological issues. You make yourself believe something is wrong with you.

There is nothing like food addiction to make you hate yourself.

The Four Bright Lines [27:52]

Dr. Susan explains why most diets are not helping people to lose weight. She says most diets focus on what to eat and what not to eat and include an exercise program. But in reality, exercise sabotages your weight loss strategy. Willpower will abandon you because it gets exhausted. You will fall into the willpower gap.

Build automatic habits around your eating. Give yourself no choice. Your healthy eating happens whether you like it or not. Dedicate a few months to your diet and during the weight loss phase, rest. Don’t exercise.

Mantras [35:36]

Say it out loud with me ladies “That is not food! That is poison!” Now say it again and picture someone handing you an ice cream cone! “That is not food!”

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Bright Line Eating 14 Day Challenge

May 7, 2017

Dating an unavailable man is a big problem.

Not only are you not getting the kind of LOVE you want and deserve...

You’re wasting precious time. It’s just clicking by... day after day, week after week and you’re no closer to getting what you want.

But how can you tell if  a man is available for a relationship…

You know, without scaring him off or sounding like you’re giving him an ultimatum...

Is there a way to get him there faster?

Ladies you are going to love this awesome episode. It is an example of  real dating life.

Victoria is a Dating Den listener and a successful New Yorker. She has followed the dating suggestions from previous episodes and viola, she is dating a quality guy!

Victoria wants to be efficient while maintaining her femininity and remove the doubt about the future of the relationship. She’s not sure what the next steps are. So, let’s help her out.

Victoria Dated With Dignity  [3:36]

Victoria says it wasn’t easy to abstain from sex with her new guy. But, she knew she needed to set boundaries and remember her value. She also didn’t want to have the awkward morning after experience.

She wanted him to like her for her true self but admits it took practice to maintain her authenticity.  She allowed herself to be proactive and if he didn’t like it he could just float away and she would be OK.

It was an artful dance.

The Slower You Go the Faster You Get There [8:57]

Sex is a very intimate thing. A woman shouldn’t be afraid to talk to a man she has allowed into her lady space. Vulnerability is required when it is time for physical and emotional intimacy. Victoria is afraid to bring up the “relationship” conversation up even after hearing him describe her as his girlfriend.

Giving the Man an Ultimatum [12:10]

Victoria was unaware of it but she had already imposed on ultimatum on her new guy. She is looking to put a timestamp on how he should feel and at what stage their relationship should be in.

What a Man Needs [15:33]

Men don’t want to jump through hoops. They need guidance too. They need encouragement to feel confident. Show them how you feel and let them know you feel safe and comfortable through words.

Victoria is going to tell him how she feels then say what she wants and then stop talking.  

Women co-create the energy that makes a man feel safe.  

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Apr 30, 2017

There isn’t a class on what to do when your heart gets ripped out by a guy in school. And, most of us never got a lesson from mom on how to bounce back after we are left dejected and downhearted when our ‘meant to be’ believes he is meant for someone else.

This is why Samantha Burns, Founder of Love Successfully coaches clients on how to bounce back. Her latest book, aptly named, Breaking Up and Bouncing Back was inspired by her own devastating break up. In the book, Samantha explores why a break up hurts so much and how to best go through the grief process.

Samantha is known as the millennial love expert and is a licensed therapist who has been featured on The Today Show, Inside Edition, Yahoo, HuffPo, and Women's Health.

Breaking Up Will Make Or Break You [7:31]

Ladies you are not in this alone.  Breakups are a common human experience but we don’t talk about them. There are so many of us going through the same thing. We need to process the breakup and then recreate what we need in order to find a good relationship.

It is possible to create the relationship you want.

The Status Quo-ple [8:58]

Many couples find themselves in an uncomfortable situation caused by comfort. They are afraid of change and fear going through the pain of a breakup. They simply stay together because it is easier than breaking up.

Using a process will make breaking up and bouncing back easier!

Why Breakups Are So Painful [14:51]

As humans, we depend on someone else for survival. Our attachment patterns from a young age determine that if someone doesn’t give us love we won’t survive.  So, when someone breaks up with you it’s a rejection we process as if we are better off left for dead.

When we fall in love our body produces the same chemicals as an addiction. So you are basically going through withdrawal when you are no longer seeing the guy.

Dating With Intent [24:16]

Samantha recommends first understanding yourself and being crystal clear about what you want in a partner. Then you can be intentional and strategic with your love life. You can start creating the relationship you want. 

There is life after a break up.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Love Successfully

Breaking Up and Bouncing Back

Apr 23, 2017

Suddenly, your oh-so hot and handsome dinner companion for the past couple of weekends leans in and kisses you gently on the neck… behind your ear…

He makes his way gently across your face and your lips meet…  it’s electric, even a touch of magic. This could be it.

His hand finds the small of your back, traces your spine up to your neck, then he does it…

He slides his hand up the back of your head and grabs you by the hair… just hard enough to set you on fire!

But are you feeling the right kind of ‘fire’ inside...?

Women, listen up! You are going to love my guest today.

He is going to tell us what is going on inside our beautiful bodies when we start to feel the change.

Dr. Mache is one of America’s leading voices on women's wellness and menopause. He is an award-winning medical journalist. He has this cool thing where he combines health information with original music. He is the Editor of The Hot Years: My Menopause Magazine, the author of 15 books on women’s health and has written over 200 scientific articles on the subject.

It’s Not About Age, It’s About Transition [3:56]

Dr. Seibel reminds us menopause is not about age. It's about transition. First, there was puberty when your hormones first went crazy and now it’s time for your hormones to go out of balance again. The mean age of menopause in the US is 51 years of age and 5-10% of women go into menopause before age 46. Symptoms can start up to 10 years earlier.

In the year 1900, women died at age 48. Nobody worried about menopause because they were dead!

What Should Women Do to Prepare Themselves? [13:16]

Becoming aware of the transitions your body will go through is the key to keeping yourself optimized. Dr. Seibel says there are 5 essential steps to pay attention to.

 

They are:

1. Physical changes.

2. Emotional Changes.

3. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle.

a. Sleep is essential.

b. Control stress.

c. Exercise is critical.

d. Eat nutritiously and organically.

 

4. Hormones.

5. How to thrive beyond menopause.

Take a holistic approach and take care of the sum of you not just some of you.

 

Strategies for Dating & Sex During Menopause [24:15]

 

Dr. Seibel says his advice for women who are transitioning is the same whether it’s puberty or menopause.

1. No one will love you until you love yourself.

2. Practice safe sex.

3. Be friends (Don’t have sex).

4. Birth control (Low dose birth control to balance hormones).

Your vagina may become more rigid. Make sure you tell your doctor!

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

The Hot Years: My Menopause Magazine

The Estrogen Window

Apr 16, 2017

Have you ever had a fantastic date with an attractive, smart, together man, felt a special connection and said to yourself, “I haven’t felt this good about a man in forever…. maybe this is finally the guy.”

Then he mysteriously disappeared from your life… stopped calling, stopped texting, and stopped asking you out?

Leaving you asking yourself… “What did I do wrong?”

Are you ready to finally understand what men really want… what makes them pursue certain women passionately...

And avoid others like a visit to the dentist?

I am swooning in the dating den today ladies because I am talking to one of my favorite men on the planet!

Evan Marc Katz is an amazing dating coach who is going to tell us what a man’s agenda is on the first date and how you can get a second date if you want one.

Evan is a personal trainer for smart, strong and successful women like you. He is the author of four books, his latest, Believe in Love, has been mentioned in the New York Times and CNN. He has had over 10 million readers of his blog and over 1000 women have graduated from his video program, "Love U".

How to Most Effectively and Efficiently Find a Quality Man [4:29 ]

Evan says there is only what works and what doesn't. Women need to ask themselves if what they are doing on online dating sites is working for them. Most will say no, so Evan’s advice is to take online dating seriously and treat it as a science.

The basics of Evan's 2/2/2 rule are to make a connection, move the conversation to personal email, schedule a phone call and then make a date. Women should be treating online communication like real life communication and make their emails entertaining conversation starters.

Don’t forget online dating is relationship building.

Setting Yourself Up for Failure [18:47]

Evan says people who plan on half-hour coffee dates are setting themselves up for failure. If you only want the date to last a half-hour, it's already a failure. Evan's preferred mindset is to believe in success. If you build up trust, rapport, excitement and anticipation through a few emails and phone calls, the only thing you need the date for is to check for chemistry.

How to Get a Second Date [20:27]

Evan says women often go into the first date looking for clues about what future she might have with him. But if women really want a second date, they should put aside their agenda to achieve their agenda. A guy's objective on a first date is to get laid and to put on a show. If women tell him how great he and flirt with the promise of sex sometime in the future, she will get a second date.

Men are always in it to win it!

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Evan Marc Katz

 

Apr 2, 2017

Have you ever been obsessed with trying to get an ex-boyfriend back?

Are you staring at your inbox wanting him to text you?

Do you ever just show up at his place and make up a reason why you are there?

Did you just “fake-up” on Instagram in an attempt to make him call you?

If you identify with any of these psycho things you need to listen to this episode. Chris Seiter is a professional relationship consultant who specializes in breakups for men and women. Not only can he show you how to get over a breakup he can also tell you how to get back with an ex if it’s appropriate. Your Tango, Elite Daily, Reader’s Digest, and Life Hack all consider him an expert.

How Do You Know When It’s a Good Idea to Reconcile with Your Ex? [5:45]

If you are what Chris calls a GNAT, Going Nuts At Texting and he’s not responding you may be a psycho ex who has no chance at reconciliation. When someone is in the middle of heartbreak the same part of the brain is activated as when a drug addict is going through withdrawal.  Chris recommends taking some time to re-assess how you feel and wait to reconcile when you don’t feel the heartbreak.

Men love the friend with benefits so watch out for ex’s who may only be calling you for the booty call.

The Grass is Greener Syndrome [11:05]

The grass is greener syndrome is when your husband or boyfriend wonders if he can do better than you. He decided he wants to breakup and then decides he can’t do better than you so he wants you back. Do you really want this guy in your life ladies?

Chris recommends:

The No Contact Rule

● Ignore your ex for 21-45 days.

● Facilitate your own personal growth.

● Invoke a mirroring of effort.

He says 80% of women end up failing from the no contact rule! You are breaking an addiction. He says to find a way to make the voice in your head disgusting. This way when the voice inside your head tells you to do something (like text your ex) you will not want to do it. It takes incredible discipline but it works. 

Focus all of your energy towards yourself instead of your ex!

Breaking Up Without Probable Cause [21:53]

Many successful relationships boil down to timing. Finding an emotionally mature man is difficult enough. Why would you think this one guy is the ultimate, perfect match out of the billions of people on earth?

Getting an Ex Back  [28:45]

Believe it or not, moving on is one of the best things you can do to get your ex back. Your energy shifts when you move on and it gets communicated through the vibes you give off. This is the only method that works consistently.  Chris says, clients try to fake moving on and it doesn’t work. You have to actually move on.

Are You Obsessing About Your Ex? [34:33]

Turn your obsessive energy inward and focus on yourself.  And, even though it has a negative stigma try a rebound relationship. One of THE best ways to get over your ex is a rebound relationship. If the new guy treats you better than your ex you may not want him back.

Ladies, a rebound relationship doesn’t mean you should sleep around.

Is It Possible to Restart the Relationship? [38:13]

Chris recommends seeking out a dating coach or therapist when times are good. Therapy doesn’t always mean there are problems in the relationship. A check-up with an impartial third-party can help a relationship survive.

There are no two relationships are alike. One solution is not good for all.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Ex-Boyfriend Recovery

Chris Seiter on Facebook

Mar 26, 2017

Have you ever met a guy that was just sooo right for you in every way…

Except one (as in the important one!)?

I mean he checked all your boxes…

You know he’s smart, sensitive, handsome, evolved, successful (or at least employed…

Basically he was great on paper, but...

You found him a little... uninspiring?

If so then you are going to love this episode!

You will want to listen to it before every date to make sure you are paying attention to the right things.

The topic of today’s show is not sexy but trust me you need it. My guest, Ken Bechtel has 15 years experience as a guide and educator. He helps women understand what women need to make men fall in love with them. He also helps them to create the conditions to attract the ideal partner. He’s been providing guidance about relationships as far back as grade school. He is a minister who performs weddings, has a podcast about partnerships and is so very smart when it comes to dating. 

How to Get Clear About What Your Needs Are? [5:44]

Women are in ‘maybe land’ relationships. They convince themselves that maybe this is enough and they settle. This behavior is typically an indicator their needs aren’t being met.

Ken advises women to pay attention to how you talk about your relationship. Are you excited about it? People pleasers put themselves last and believe that once their guy is happy they will be happy. But, it’s just not true.

Men Are Born Providers [10:49]

Men need to know what your needs are so he can provide like he was born to. Mr. Right isn’t really a person. It is a feeling you have when you are around a person. It is the feeling of having your needs met.

Ladies, you need to get over saying “oh, it’s ok or it’s cool.” Quit making excuses for not having your needs met! It’s ok to get what you want. If you continue dating the same type of guy maybe what you are looking for isn’t really what you need.

There is not one need in the world you are not worthy of!

An Example of When a Woman Goes to Maybe Land [17:16]

The way a man responds to your needs is a strong indicator of what kind of partner he will be. If he’s dismissive, especially at the beginning of your relationship, that is the way he will be for the duration of the relationship. Guys bring their ‘A’ game when they start dating someone. It is the best he has so pay attention! If he isn’t all you need now he won’t become what you need later.

Partnership  [20:45]

The choices we make for partnership are rarely easy ones. Women should get to know their needs and express them. There is no such thing as a small need. Little needs turn into big deals.

How Can Women Determine What They Really Want? [24:10]

Even if you are unsure what you are looking for you understand how something makes you feel. Your feelings are unarguable. It doesn’t matter if you understand why you feel a certain way. Your internal guidance system is telling you to pay attention to how you feel.

It’s ok to have feelings. For those who live in the feminine,  it is natural to be emotional but many of us have been told it’s not ok. We try to hide the fact that we have feelings. There is a big difference between someone who is being dramatic and someone who is being genuine.

Authenticity is the second biggest reason a man falls in love with a woman.

Why Setting Boundaries is Difficult for Women [27:53]

Women are hardwired to thrive on connections and this is what makes setting boundaries so tough.  It’s opposite of what they think they should be feeling. But, Ken says, boundaries aren’t about defensiveness. Boundaries are about ownership. It tells someone else where your space starts.

Men love women with strong boundaries. If a woman has been clear they know exactly how to give them what you need. Help them help you by sharing what do you need to be your best self.

Boundaries need to be clearly set and set early on in a relationship.

Men are the world’s worst guessers. Help them out and set them up to win.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Ken Bechtel

Ken’s “Real Story” Webinar

The Speaking of Partnership Podcast

Mar 19, 2017

Dr. Sheldon Kardener is the creator of Focused Dynamic Therapy which identifies early threads that have been woven into the fabric of our current lives. He currently serves as a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA. In his book, Breaking Free he illuminates how emotional conflicts develop and how they can be treated with psychotherapy.

You are going to love this episode. My guest’s brilliant book changed my life. So much so, I often share it with my clients.

 

How is the Process of ‘Breaking the Chains’ Different from Other Approaches? [4:36]

 

The process makes the patient’s emotional realm accessible to the therapist and the patient. This allows the patient to be a co-therapist in their own discovery which is vital to successful therapy. It facilitates the relationship which assists the curative process.

 

Why Are High-Achievers Unable to Make a Breakthrough?    [7:49]

 

High-achievers are able to function because they are free of the pull of their early unmet childhood needs in their professional lives. They may have conflicts in relationships because the old needs come roaring back. But they will separate their professional and personal lives. These people may have a lot of friends but no one they are intimately close to.

There is a tremendously powerful emotion in maintaining what we don’t want and it competes with what we do want.

 

A Mission Impossible [13:18]

 

Dr. Kardener believes we always marry our emotional twin. We are drawn to a person who would understand what it was like to come from the home we came from. We do this in order to fight an old battle on a new battlefield with hopes this time we will win. We spend our time, energy and effort in the present trying to change the past.

 

Becoming an Emotional Adult  [16:29]

 

Naomi Rachel Raymond once said, “There ain’t no healin’ without grievin’.” Part of the process of healing is focusing in on what you are holding on to and what you are looking for but never found and grieve the loss. We feel ‘lost in space’ and all alone when we let go but it is a risk we must take to get what we want.

After birth, if our first connection was difficult we flee to an independent state. It is apparent in dating when we don’t get too close for too long. Many who have this experience never reach intimacy with another person.

 

The Law of Attraction Isn’t A Law At All [30:32]

 

If you are in the dating game, Dr. Kardener recommends if you find yourself powerfully drawn to someone and the person does not repel you, go out with that person as an adult and know that person as an adult.

Remember ladies, attraction is a double-edged sword. If the attraction is strong you may just want to revive conflicts from your childhood.

 

The idea of love at first site is really familiarity at first site.   

 

Advice for Black & White Thinkers [35:19]

 

Those who think in absolutes are often reflecting a conflict that occurred between 7-11 years-of-age. A person may become the exact opposite of the parental figure they had a conflict with. If you become aware you are thinking in a binary mode you have the opportunity to change and make other options available to you.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Dr. Sheldon Kardener

Breaking Free

Mar 12, 2017

I know you ladies have a love-hate relationship with online dating. And, most of you hate it.  So, I decided to bring Michael Goldstein to give us some tips! Michael is a successful private dating coach, public speaker and author. He has been on the Today Show as well as featured on Reader’s Digest, Star Ledger, Shape Magazine and NewJersey.com.

Michael says you can meet YOUR guy only after 6-8 dates.

Which Online Dating Site is the Best? [2:04]

Michael loves OkCupid if it is used in conjunction with his system. He says the algorithm gives you a match percentage of the available guys and if it’s 90% or higher chances are you will have a great conversation on your date.

6 Points to the Perfect Profile Picture   [7:04]

1. Have a solo photo.

2. Make sure the photo is square.

3. Make your face 8-15% of the picture.

4. Tell a story through your photos.

5. Use as many photos as possible.

6. 80% of your photos should be stunning.

Be honest with yourself when evaluating your profile.

Get to the Date as Soon as Possible  [18:58]

It’s not necessary to flirt online. Michael says pull the trigger and ask the guy for a date. If you send a man a message to ask for a date you could be his only message all week from the site. He is going to pay attention.

Put This in Your Profile [22:45]

This is the most important online dating advice you will ever be given. Tell stories and be specific in your profile! Michael says women should make their descriptions 3-5 sentences and give men hints as to what to message you about.

Find Love Efficiently [33:11]

If you are looking for love don’t use Bumble or Tinder. If you want to find your perfect guy, message 50 guys who have a 90% or higher match rate and you would rate them above a 4 on your attractiveness scale, in 20 minutes. Pick the best two responses and go out on a date. If you get a response you are not sure of, ask the guy to pick up the phone. If you are still not sure who to respond to follow these 3 steps.

1. Read the profile.

2. Check the match percentage.

3. Pay attention to the message.

95% of the messages women receive from men will not be intriguing. 

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

OkCupid

How to Find a High Quality Man in 3 Easy Steps

EZ Dating Coach

Mar 5, 2017

I love, love, love my guest on today’s Dating Den! Carol Allen is

an inspirational badass, a Vedic Astrologer and a Relationship Coach. And, she is partially responsible for my marriage to Jeremy.

 

Carol has contributed to my tele-summits, Daily Candy called her cooler than karma and Dr. Drew called her advice profound. She has been my longtime friend because she is the real deal and she really cares.

 

Communication Between Men and Women [3:55]

 

Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Carol says, through communication you can ruin good thing or fix a bad thing. Carol’s relationship with her husband is the perfect example of how powerful a tool communication can be to a relationship. After a 4-year breakup, Carol honed her communication skills and now she and her husband have been married for 20 years.

 

Good communication skills affect every area of your life.

 

Create a Safe Atmosphere if You Want Your Man to Talk   [7:32]

 

The biggest complaint women have about men is they shut down and they don’t talk. A man will only share if he feels safe.

 

A major difference in men and women is that women talk about everything and men can keep thoughts and feelings inside for months or years. But Carol notes, women are naturally designed to people please. If women feel like their words will cause a conflict, they won’t say it.

When women close up they go into one of two modes.

 

● Bambi mode is needy and clingy.

● Banshee mode is aggressive.

Both modes are repulsive to men. These modes take men by surprise because we have been saying we are fine and then suddenly we hit him with our need or our rage.

This is why men say women are crazy and dramatic.

Carol points out there is a third mode which will foster trust and respect in a relationship and men find it attractive.  Women should be respectfully assertive towards their man, so he doesn’t feel he has been talked down to. When women withhold we make the man’s feelings more important than ours. 

If women don’t speak up for their needs it sends a signal to the man that it is ok to put himself and his feelings ahead of them. 

Am I an Alpha Female or a Beta Female?  [17:46]

An Alpha person is direct, to the point, ambitious and dominant. While a Beta is a person who is here to ‘be’. They may tend to follow and not be proactive or a go-getter. But we are all not just one or the other. We may be different with different people.

It’s important to know, we are happier with people who compliment our different ways and behaviors.

Knowing who you are dealing with helps you to communicate. Relationships get easier with time because you know your partner better.

If a guy is sensitive and chill a woman should use feelings based language to communicate with him.

Communicating Through a Conflict   [23:05]

Figure out who is having a bigger issue with the conflict. If it’s the guy you may have to cater to his feelings. Ask yourself what does he really need?

It’s important to talk to the other person in a way they can hear. There are no exact rules because we are all different.

 

Why Do Men Run to the Hills? [28:15]

 

When a woman acts like her hair's on fire. Basically, men freak out when we freak out. The more you can treat a guy like you are on the same team or let him know he’s not in trouble the better off your communication will be.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Navigating The Gap - Free Call

Carol Allen Astrology

Carol Allen on Facebook

Feb 26, 2017

Ladies welcome to the Dating Den!

 

My guest today, Daniel, is very handsome, very smart and passionate about self love.

 

Girls like it when we get a hit of cognitive joojoo to go along with our woowoo.

 

Daniel created a precise and clear model of the mechanics of self love after years of experiential and academic research. He knows exactly how to build self love on a daily basis and he is going to share it with all of us. 

 

The Difference Between Self Esteem and Self Love? [3:04]

 

Self esteem is an external attribute while self love is an internal attribute. Self love is more about what kind of a friend you are to yourself? Self love is the nitty gritty way you care for yourself every day. Daniel says the blindspot of the self love movement is when people accidentally not loving ourselves while telling ourselves how much we love. Women are in a linear, masculine, goal-oriented energy when they try to force themselves into self love. It’s wiser to use a feminine energy to heal and nurture themselves.

 

Women Need to Nourish Themselves  [9:44]

 

The reason women lose track of their inner wisdom and their divinity is fear. Daniel says fear makes everybody stupid. When people are afraid they are addicted to comfort and thus avoiding what they fear.  They may get trapped in a world of lack of fulfillment. The world we live in is a physical, masculine world. Women need courage in order to reconnect with their divine gifts. Self love is extra important for women.

How Can I Get More Self Love?  [15:37]

 

People have self love backward. If you think you need more self love you are automatically telling yourself you are lacking. If you want to see pure self love look at children. Kids are the most loving, in the moment, present beings on the planet. They share their essence and don’t give a crap what you think. They are self love. So, maybe we had self love and it’s gone missing.

 

The Self Created Vicious Cycle   [21:37]

 

We do have love for ourselves inside but it may be asleep. The original lie that has robbed us of that child-like love is the belief of we are not enough to be loved. We tell ourselves we are broken and can not be loved. So, we go to the outside world to find love and validation. When the outside world doesn’t love us enough we feel rejected.  We then fear rejection and once we are afraid we can not be fully self-expressed and open. It’s exhausting.

 

Breaking Through [28:17]

 

A lie can only exist if you keep telling it to yourself. Daniel shares how he broke the cycle and stopped listening to his ego.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Daniel Packard - Love Athlete

Feb 19, 2017

Ladies, Marni welcomes a real life quality man to the Dating Den and things get real.

Johnny Fernandez is going to tell you why when you walk into a room of 20 guys and, when you try to pick up 15 of them, why they are wrong for you!

Johnny and his wife Dr. Lara Fernandez have been love coaches for 12 years. They empower single, conscious women through relationships. Ladies if you own your power, speak your truth about who you are and embody healthy beliefs and behaviors, finding ‘soulmate love’ will become your destiny.

 

So, Why Do Women Believe There Are No Quality Men? [3:49]

 

Men of quality do exist and Johnny is going to teach us how to attract our soulmate. Johnny says, our beliefs from childhood get reinforced in adulthood. Most women don’t make their limiting beliefs a priority. They need to understand where their beliefs about love and relationships come from and then work on themselves to change it. In a room of 20 men, 15 of them may be knuckleheads, 3 are good guys and 2 are every woman’s dream. Women just don’t see the good ones.

 

Finding A Soulmate Should Be a Priority [10:19]

 

Most women listening to this podcast live in a Westernized patriarchal society. Women are used to doing what society tells them. Society says they need to work, produce, and do but this is the opposite of what they need to do to attract a relationship with a quality man. Women say I will invest as little as possible. They don’t put a lot of effort towards finding a quality man. Finding the right person should be a top priority in their life. 

 

Men Don’t Hold All the Cards  [16:00]

 

In any relationship, a woman has more power than she knows. When women invest the time, attention, resources and focus into loving themselves it helps their relationships. When you are with the right person you are hot for them and you want to be with them all the time. If women are honest with themselves and make finding the right guy a priority they will find their love.

 

A Quality Guy Does What He Says He Is Going To Do  [18:38]

 

A quality guy is masculine and has integrity. He is conscious and caring. He is trying to do the right thing in his life and he cares about you. He is self-aware, caring, has emotional intelligence and is kind. If a woman doesn’t do what she says she is going to do they attract a man with the same vibration. A woman should step up her focus in this area of her life.

 

Ladies be intentional in your vision through your actions.

 

Be the Person You Want to Attract [28:39]

 

Men are looking for relationships too. Look for communities you can be your authentic self in and be willing to share the deepest part of your soul. This is important for people, especially women. The idea that women feel they have done everything they can to find a quality guy is crazy. They are out there ladies!

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Johnny and Lara

Men of Quality Do Exist - Free Video Series

Feb 12, 2017

OMG! How could you? He’s married.

 

In this coaching session with Mel, Marne uncovers the truth behind the pain and it has nothing to do with the guy!

 

Unrequited love could be someone you flirted with from the office, a guy who just disappeared, your male best friend. A married man is the epitome of unrequited love because he is emotionally, physically and legally unavailable.

 

So, even if the man on your mind is not married consider how this may apply to you.

 

What Mel Wants From This Coaching Session [4:17]

 

Mel is flip flopping between wanting to break it off and staying in the relationship long-term. Her heart wants one thing and her head another. If she does break it off with her married guy she wants to feel at peace with her decision.

 

Mel has felt more intimacy in the last 4 or 5 months than ever before.  She knows her guy loves her because of his actions. He takes time off work when possible to spend time with her.  He makes her feel appreciated she feels completely in her feminine when she is with him.

 

An Unconscious Gain of Pain  [7:56]

 

Marne makes Mel aware that she feels safe in her relationship with a married man because it’s impossible for him to be fully with her. Mel agrees she enjoys having her freedom and independence. But, Mel acknowledges the relationship has never been tested in real life circumstances. She feels she is getting a lot of love without any of the stickiness. But, there is a lot of pain. No one in his life can know about her and that breeds insecurity and pain.

 

The Romantic Rut  [17:06]

 

Does Mel judge herself? Yes, but it is a detached type of judgment. Her brain rationalizes the pain and tries to cope with it by numbing the pain with dopamine. This is why the cycle continues.

 

Mel has been doing this for two years. Each time she judges herself she reverts back to “but the love is so strong”.

 

He’s a Liar  [20:46]

 

When Mel rehashes what happened that made the intimacy increase in the relationship she realizes her married man was lying to her and to himself. The confrontation is the only reason he came clean.

 

The doubt makes Mel question his integrity.

 

Mel Feels She Isn’t Enough [26:21]

 

When Mel admits she is afraid of disappointing men and that she can’t seem to let her guard down. Marne uncovers Mel might not feel worthy or capable of accepting love.

 

Mel is putting up a love shield as a coping mechanism to avoid vulnerability. The reason Mel is in this relationship is because she doesn't trust herself to be 100% available.

 

Mel’s long-term homework is to believe in herself and know she is enough.

 

Mel’s Goals and Backup Plans

A. Her ideal goal is to figure out her boundary.

B. Become powerful in her femininity and in alignment with her authenticity. 

C. Her safety net is to be brave enough to ask for support when she needs it as she is uncovering her self-worth.

Mel now feels empowered to take responsibility for her vision. She understands it is ok for her to feel the way she feels.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Feb 5, 2017

Are you still struggling to understand men...

What turns them on...

Why they pursue certain women for relationships, and not others?

I know it can feel like guys are attracted to superficial things – but really the opposite is true.

A great guy wants a woman who thinks she is the bomb-diggity-bomb!

Women who don’t value themselves end up as depressed people pleasers.

Do you want to know how to stop sabotaging good relationships?

Marni’s guest expert, Sandy Weiner is the dating coach behind Last, First Date. Sandy is devoted to helping women achieving healthy, toe-curling, epic love in the second half of their lives. She is a TEDx speaker, host of the Last, First Date Radio podcast and a dating coach who specializes in helping women effectively set clear boundaries. Her articles have been featured in the Huffington Post, Psychology Today and Mind Body Green, among others.

Women Don’t Value Themselves [10:18]

Why don’t women see themselves as worthy of more? Why do women give up on the good guys and fall for guys who are broke and wrong for them? Sandy says, relationships are not the same as work successes or being a mom. Our adult relationships are based on the home we grew up in and our relationships with our parents. This means any negativity we experienced as little girls may bleed into our adult romantic relationships. As young girls, women are led to believe a man won’t or can’t provide for them so they overperform.

Men Respond to the Because  [14:30]

Men aren’t mind readers. They will do what women want if they know the ‘because’ or the ‘why’ behind the request. Tell a man how it makes you feel for them to help you with something. And, women should stop saying “I got this”. Men pick up on the message that they aren’t needed for anything. Women need to express their needs clearly.

Women of value speak up graciously.

Why Suffer Through Something You Don’t Want? [17:40]

Women sabotage themselves with good men because they don’t know how to speak up and say what they want. Why would someone suffer through something you don’t want? Clarity is a gift held by women of value.

Be creative with your dating.

Leading a Principled Life  [26:21]

Sandy says it’s not about rules. It’s about a woman’s principles and dignity. If you live a principled life you do so in all aspects of your life. A woman of value works through her defenses so she is not triggered all the time. She creates a loving, amazing life and she is an inspiration to others. A woman of value has qualities similar to the qualities and values of a good leader.  She understands men are not projects to be fixed.

Men are attracted to a woman of value.

Love Comes in Surprise Packages  [30:40]

Women of value don’t make lists of what they want from a relationship because they don’t want to get locked into someone showing up exactly according to the list. A list of requirements does not leave much room for surprises and Sandy says, love comes in surprise packages.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Last First Date

Last First Date Radio

How to Turn a Booty Call Into a Real Date

Why Men Disappear - Free Guide

Your Last First Date Facebook Group

Jan 29, 2017

If you have ever said to yourself:

 

“Why is there no one good enough for me out there?”

 

“I can’t find anyone interesting that I like.”

 

“I want a spiritual guy.”

 

If you have said these things to yourself well ladies, you are in for a wake-up call. On today’s episode, Marne welcomes the Cupid of Consciousness, the Fairy God Mother of Love, Arielle Ford. For the last 25 years, Arielle Ford has lived and promoted consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of the Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life Through the Law of Attraction and she has a new book Turn Your Mate Into Your Soul Mate.

There are smart and successful women who feel they have everything but love. Arielle says it’s an egotistical place for them to come from because there are a billion men to choose from out there.

If a woman is successful at work she is getting dopamine hits for doing what she is good at. What she wasn’t good at was dating so she made up excuses. But when you hit your 40’s and you wake up alone you start to wonder why you can’t manifest a soul mate? Women need to understand their dating patterns by putting their past relationships through a rigorous inspection.

Are you able to move in between your masculine and feminine when needed?

 

Are All the Good Ones Taken and Is It Too Late?  [7:44]

 

Successful women can become locked in their masculine energy. If you desire an alpha man you need to downshift into your feminine energy.

Women don’t always know how to be warm, loving, and friendly on a date. Arielle advises if you go out on a date make it a treasure hunt about the other person. Be truly curious about your date.

 

Rose Colored Glasses [12:22]

 

Dating and finding a soulmate should be fun, not a chore. Manifesting who you will spend the rest of your life with is life’s grandest adventure. It shouldn’t be work to find your best friend and your lover. But on dates, women can be heat seeking missiles for what is wrong. Virtually wearing rose colored glasses can help them to see what is right. Women fall in love between their ears. If there is an instant chemistry, it's lust, not long term love. Lust is ok, but it's not about finding a soulmate.

 

How to Reset  [15:54]

 

For a strong woman to reset Arielle says to make dating a sacred ritual. Light a candle, say a prayer and think of love as a spiritual adventure. Remember, men do spirituality differently. Conscious men are living their life on purpose. New age nice guys may be suppressing their anger.

 

But it’s Too Late For Me[19:51]

 

It’s never too late to find a soul mate no matter your age. If you keep saying it’s too late, you will make yourself right. Women need to be optimistic.

A soulmate is someone you can completely be yourself with. It is possible to have more than one soulmate in your life. If you want to draw your soulmate near you simply need to have gratitude for what you already have. The law attraction says we draw people, places and experiences to us that mirror our state of being.

Get into a higher vibrational frequency.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Inkspirations Love by Design: Coloring the Divine Path to Manifest Your Soulmate

Soulmate Secrets by Arielle Ford

Soulmate Passion by Arielle Ford

Jan 22, 2017

Do you sometimes think, Maybe I’m too picky...

 

Do your friends say, “I just don’t get it...”

 

“You’re amazing...

 

“You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’ve got it all together and you have a great life...

 

“WTF?!”

 

If this is you, don’t sweat it. It’s truly the most common theme among smart, successful, single women.

 

That’s because most women think... if everyone keeps telling me how awesome I am, then it has to be the guy’s fault!

 

First of all... seriously?!

 

The truth is, you wouldn’t be here, if there wasn’t something wrong.

 

Are you one of those women who just want to get down to business on a date?

 

To figure out if the guy is worthy of you so you can start falling in love?

 

Are you looking for a strong man who wants a strong woman but can’t understand why you scare so many guys off?

 

If so, you will identify with today’s caller, Irene. Irene is a super smart, super successful woman from a tough Italian family. Irene is looking for a relationship with her equal, she wants her soul mate and a best friend. But as you’ll hear in the call, Irene is afraid she’ll be chronically single because she’s not feminine enough.

 

Irene wants a relationship with a foundation of facts and truth. She doesn’t want someone who will just disappear like her father, her brother and her grandfather.

 

Becoming Comfortable in Your Feminine [6:17]

 

Women want to be authentic but are afraid to bring out our feminine aspects in front of powerful guys. Growing up Irene was shown that to be feminine means women should speak and act properly. Women should be girly and are no more than arm candy. She has worked hard in her life to prove she is more than that.

But being feminine is not always girly, girl. Femininity is an open energy that is soft around the edges. Irene may be showing up in her masculine energy is because her high-performance operating system is results based.

 

Boxing Gloves [14:05]

 

Irene recognized her father wasn’t there for her when she needed comfort as a little girl. She was hurt emotionally and she feels a need to protect herself. Irene is emotionally wearing boxing gloves in preparation of needed to protect herself. They may not be raised in a defensive stance but they are there if she needs them.

 

A quality guy wants someone who can lean into her feminine and sometimes be his opposite.

 

Creating Emotional Safety  [17:20]

 

Irene feels if she puts her boxing gloves down it will leave her unprotected, open to risk and emotions. Irene has had her story for so long it’s hard for her to get past. She understands she needs to build up her emotional resiliency but she fears the pain of being left alone.

 

It is Irene’s emotional child who shows up on dates. She needs to accept whatever happens as ok and practice showing up on dates as an emotional adult.  When she is in a non-triggering environment she needs to practice feeling pain instead of being defensive about it.

 

Irene’s Key Lessons [30:47]

 

  • Caring for and healing the emotional child inside of her.
  • Practice being more vulnerable with men.
  • She doesn’t need to have her protective side up all the time.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Jan 15, 2017

 

That which doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger…

Take a negative experience and turn it into a positive…

Take your lemons and make lemonade…

Learning from your mistakes is how you will succeed...

We’ve all heard these cliches before…

 

And like all cliches, there is some wisdom there.

But what about breakups… are they failures we can learn from?

I mean, they kinda suck, right?

 

But what if you could emerge from a breakup better, happier and stronger than you were before?

Interesting thought...

Breakups are hard on your heart.

 

They can be a crushing experience. There can be arguing, name calling and worse. And if kids are involved, it can be really difficult to make sure they aren’t adversely affected.

 

My guest, Katherine Woodward Thomas was going through her own divorce when she came up with a very modern way to break up. Her book, Conscious Uncoupling, has been nominated for a Books for a Better Life award and the process was made famous when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin adopted it. She describes the process as a paradigm shift from what is often thought of as an antagonist experience to an experience with generosity or good will.

 

It’s great to believe in a lifetime of happiness but reality shows that most of us will probably have more than one significant relationship in our lives. Meeting that one special person is an outdated concept.  

 

Breakups Are Crossroads  [8:57]

 

During a breakup, we get rejection sensitive, our hearts get defensive and we can even bring hostility into our next relationship. We may punish ourselves by self-loathing or lingering in anger for a long period of time. There is a lot of bad stuff that can happen if we don’t navigate a breakup properly. What is the difference between a broken heart and a broken leg? We would never think that time would heal a broken leg so we do we think it will heal a broken heart? Our goal should be to make our hearts stronger after a breakup!

 

Why We Go from Soul Mate to Soul Hate [11:39]

 

Humans are born to bond and form communities, so breakups are against nature. Nature will do anything to keep us together including releasing a chemical in the brain that creates a deep longing for the person who rejected us. It’s designed to inspire us to run after the person. The chemicals in the brain of a person going through a breakup are similar to a person who is grieving from a death. Nature would prefer a negative bond rather than no bond, it is an evolutionary leftover.

 

Why Consciously Uncouple?  [15:23]

 

The step by step process helps to keep us in charge of our emotions. The goal behind Conscious Uncoupling is the desire to cause a minimal amount of suffering for ourselves, for each other and to our children. It sets up structures where people can win moving forward.

 

If there are children involved our exes can be in our lives for the long haul. It makes this process a necessity not a luxury way to break up.

 

The Steps of Conscious Uncoupling [18:51]

 

We all know that really big emotions come up after a breakup. So, what is to be done? How do we deal with all the feelings we are feeling? Katherine says, before taking action, rational or irrational, follow these steps:

 

  1. Find Emotional Freedom
  2. Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
  3. Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart.
  4. Become a Love Alchemist.
  5. Create Your Happy Even After Life.

 

Katherine’s program includes an exercise to clear the air and remove the toxic emotional residue. She has trained coaches who can assist you and your partner during this difficult time.

 

The Conscious Uncoupling Summit [42:38]

 

This first time ever LIVE event includes speakers and sessions on how to move through grief in a powerful way, how to consciously uncouple, how to midwife your best life and more on January 27 & January 28, 2017. You can experience the entire virtual summit from the comfort of home.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Conscious Uncoupling

Happily Even After

Jan 8, 2017

In today’s coaching session with Dorothy she shares a problem, many of you have been dealing with. She doesn’t want to repeat the same shit from her last relationship.

She really wants to have children. Her Ex made her think she was crazy for wanting kids, which is totally uncalled for. So now, she’s dating some great guys and wants to move forward with the kid talk but she’s afraid that if she does the guys are going to bolt.

Dorothy is smart and successful. She loves her career and she really wants to get married and have kids. Wanting kids is a big part of who she is.

 

Dorothy’s Picker Was Broken [3:21]

 

Dorothy’s Ex didn’t like it when she talked about children but it felt natural for her. When she read my MANimal types she realized she had been picking the wrong guys.

Having kids is a deal breaker for Dorothy and yet she has been on 10 dates with a guy she likes and hasn’t even brought up the subject of marriage or children. She should have told him her deal breakers by date #3.

How to determine your non-negotiables:

● Think of qualities in relationships you admire.

● Consider your core values.

● Think of the values you want in a partner.

Dorothy has about 16 wishes for a potential mate but her top 5 deal breakers are the right guy wants a family, is supportive, is active, is a saver and is flexible.

Your deal breakers are 5 fights you are never going to have in your relationship!

 

Collecting Information About Who You Are Dating [23:55]

 

Women should know the person they are dating by date #3. If Dorothy collects the data out of curiosity it will remove the fear she has placed around it. She believes if she shares what she truly wants she will be shut down.

After some coaching, Dorothy understands future dates don’t deserve to have the weight of her previous relationships around their necks. And, she knows she should have brought the subject of children up sooner.

Being vulnerable can be scary but it creates an opportunity for emotional intimacy.

 

The Quality Boyfriend Litmus Test  [30:28]

 

It’s important to get clear on your needs up front because Mr. Quality Casual will string you along forever! Don’t wait to ask the serious questions. One guy does not represent all guys. They don’t all respond in the same way.

Money is a hard topic to discuss but it is really, really important!

 

Homework and Takeaways from this Coaching Session

1. Make a list of how someone could demonstrate they have qualities that match your non-negotiables.

2. By date #3 you should know if a guy shares your top 5 values.

3. Be the person you want to attract.

4. Don’t let past relationships cloud future relationships.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Jan 1, 2017

Today’s conversation with Susan Bratton is about reaching true intimacy and epic love by creating your sexual soulmate. Susan is a TV personality, an award-winning speaker, and a serial entrepreneur. She is compassionate and fearless when teaching fundamental communication skills that make for crazy, good sex.

 

How Susan Became a Trusted, Hot Sex Advisor [4:03]

 

Susan has always been a horny girl who wanted to find really good sex. When she met her husband at age 30, she finally found what she was looking for. Then after 10 years of marriage, the sex started to dwindle, he had an affair, and they were on their way to a divorce. For the sake of their family, they decided to go and seek out sexual help. After sexually educating themselves, the couple became closer than they had ever been.

 

Close the orgasm gap!

 

Masculine and Feminine Roles are Changing [11:41]

 

Women need to recognize the biological impacts and behaviors deeply embedded in the masculine. Men physically need to be ready when it is time to impregnate a female. That is why hot guys get all the sex. Whereas, women are driven by two competing desires. We want to be impregnated by a healthy, good looking stud but also find someone to help us care for the children.

 

Create your sexual soulmate by:

● Giving your man little wins during sex.

● Consistently tell him he’s doing a good job in and out of the bedroom.

Women get bored to death if the sex is always the same. We need variety.

 

How to Create a Safe Place to Communicate Your Desires  [20:10]

When you trust yourself you allow trust into the bedroom. Women, you must love your body as much as he loves your body. Your man picked you because he thinks you are sexy.

If something is causing you pain or frustration, and it keeps you in your mind, and not in your body, you need to work that out before sex. If you feel tension, allow his hands to awaken your sexual grid so you can be in your body.

First date sex isn’t recommended because you haven’t fully connected yet.

The Best Hug in the World [26:33]

This hug activates the masculine/feminine dynamic and helps you to connect at a sexual soulmate level. You can do this with a first date, without this leading to sex. This is the time you can find a connection to yourself, your partner and the universe.

Setting Boundaries When You Are Dating  [32:06]

Every time you make love, you should tell your lover what is going on with you. Tell him exactly what you want, what you are willing to do in the time you have, and have the safe sex discussion. The guy will be happy that you gave him the manual.

It might sound tedious but it’s important to have these grown up conversations.

Seduction Techniques [40:26]

When a guy gives you a menu of what he can give you, it is akin to getting a big dopamine hit for a woman. Ask him to give you small offers. It will give you time for your desire to escalate. Plus, he gets a lot of small wins when you say yes to each choice.

● The average guy loves to see women in lingerie.

● Hold your man’s you know what early and often.

● Hold your boundaries.

Reignite Your Sexuality [47:01]

Women, you can become more sexual without compromising yourself. Dress in ways that make you feel sexy, masturbate frequently, and give yourself massages. Be sure to use natural organic oils, not chemical laden lubes. Turn on your own system.

If you want to be a sexual soulmate keep yourself in good shape by being your own lover.

 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Personal Life Media

How to Be Instantly Hotter and Sexier Free Ebook

« Previous 1 2